kodzuken

I've been in a few relationships already, and every time I end it by making some excuse like "my parents found out" or "I haven't been in the right state of mind recently," y'know stuff that's all around a bit dumb to break up over...however those are simply half truths. The thing is, I found myself romantically attracted to people, however upon confessing and them saying that they reciprocate my feelings (therefore leading them to ask me out on a date/be in some sort of committed romantic relationship with them), I felt like clawing my way out. It's not the fact that I'm not emotionally mature to handle such a thing like that, it's because I just had the romantic attraction to them simply fade completely upon reciprocation of romantic feelings. This is definitely embarrassing to say, but I have been in numerous relationships where me and a person were merely friends, however we would share sexual relations. Of course, this would never be during a romantic relationship, however I felt way more at ease with that rather than a romantic relationship. It's also not the fact that I wasn't ready to be committed and be there for them at times of need, because I was usually like that when we were still friends and we didn't confess yet. I don't understand what I am and am extremely confused. I have had a boyfriend for the past month, and it feels like I'm forcing myself through the relationship...it's not that I do not love him...it's just the fact that I do not love him romantically anymore. TL;DR The idea of going on dates and hugging and kissing people in a romantic manner seems so bland to me, however when I gain romantic feelings for a person I suddenly feel that those activities are the best thing to do. However, when those feelings are reciprocated and lands my into a relationship, I'm instantly turned off and am not attracted romantically anymore. Do I have commitment issues, or am I on the aromatic spectrum? If this helps, I usually go be she/her pronouns but I go by any other ones (I don't mind) and am bisexual.