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Fear of commitment? Too young? Aro? Wrong answers only


Guest Rae
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Guest Rae

Hi, so the possibility of being aro has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years now and tonight I feel pretty content with it but still want to hear other people's experiences which are so hard to find. I've never had a crush, each school year was a trial of judging my male classmates and determining who I would pick when I was eventually asked the most infuriating question of my childhood, "Who do you fancy?". Being a logical person, I always picked who I thought was a good friend and would therefore, make a good partner and even now I've always thought that relationships start from friendships - there was no other option in my kid mind for you to just go on a date with someone "just because". Only issue there is that I've never even developed a crush on a friend, just wanted to deepen our completely platonic relationship; honestly, the thought of marrying my best friend for tax benefits and living with them sounds amazing. I like well executed romance in media and enjoy hand holding and cuddling with friends but kisses, dating and the thought of marriage feels disgusting, awkward and constraining respectively. After a few years of being terrified of that label I've grown to feel a lot more content with it but still doubt myself (thank you so much for that brain). Sorry this is so longwinded but this is basically something for people to judge and for people to share their own experiences, if they feel comfortable. Thank you so much for your time.

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On 6/30/2021 at 3:03 PM, Guest Rae said:

I've never had a crush, each school year was a trial of judging my male classmates and determining who I would pick when I was eventually asked the most infuriating question of my childhood, "Who do you fancy?".

i've certainly had to go through this exact same scenario before, even now i continue to get asked this question 🙇‍♀️

On 6/30/2021 at 3:03 PM, Guest Rae said:

After a few years of being terrified of that label I've grown to feel a lot more content with it but still doubt myself

i'm glad that you're starting to feel more comfortable, when it comes to sexuality, attraction and the like it always come with a lot of doubt from oneself, though with time it goes away 🙋‍♀️ (at least in some cases)

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