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Dating Apps???

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Do you guys use dating apps to find like QPRs or just friends to talk to? I for the life of me don't know why, but every single time I download one, I freak out like 5 mins after setting up my profile and just delete everything.... The idea of talking to random people freaks me out. Like honestly even just posting on forums is new to me, but I'm more comfortable with it bc there's a sense on anonymity. I'm fine talking to new people in real life. No problem. I might be shy in some circumstances but usually if we find common ground I can hold a convo with anyone pretty well. Just on dating apps (I've tried tinder, Bumble, and Taimi), even if I specify I'm aro and just looking for friends to chat with, there's always an unspoken expectation that it'll evolve into something more despite me saying otherwise. Also how do you just... swipe... on people? I have no idea how to determine whether or not I'll "like" someone without actually talking to them first. The whole "judging on appearances" thing doesn't make a lick of sense to me because everyone looks like they could be nice??? Idk. Anyone have any suggestions? Should I just get over myself and stop overthinking things? Are there any other alternatives like aro Discord servers or whatever? I just want to meet people that I relate to bc I know 0 arospec people both irl or online since I'm new to the community. 

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Personally I've not used them, but I'm kinda in the same boat where I can't really talk to other aro people irl so I can relate to your story. Those kinds of apps don't really seem like the place for aro people even though they might want to look for a (queerplatonic) partner. Also with the swiping, I've seen my friends use it and for them it was mostly about appearances, which while they can be pleasing isn't really a good indicator of well you'll get along as friends. If you're willing to be adventurous you could accept everyone who come across, maybe there'll be someone worth talking in there. Wanting to get to know people with the same orientation is totally natural, so I don't think you're overthinking anything. If you're okay if making purely online contacts, it's way easier to get to know all kinds of aro people around the world, though since I'm not really a super online person others on here would probably be more knowledgable about those kinds of online spaces.

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  • 3 weeks later...

In my exploration of this forum and AVEN I have found 3 discord servers. If you have not found them between now and the time you posted this I could send you the invites. If you have, see you there maybe

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