Mightier Pen Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 Right, so, first post outside of the intro forum. Going to skip over some details that are in that post for brevity's sake, but key details: I'm turning 37 in a few months, I've been aware of the concept of grayromanticism for a little more than a year, and only using the label for myself for about six months. After five years of being single, I've begun seeing a woman. We had the discussion early on about my figuring out grayro stuff, she's aware it's a thing. I rarely date, and when I do things usually flame out around the three-month mark, which is where I am with the current lady. For the first time, though, I'm paying attention to my inner monologue in ways I never have before because of my awareness of grayromanticism. And my inner monologue varies between tugging at my sleeve and screaming in my ear that I Need To Get Out. It's reminding me that I'm happier alone/on my own, that the small things are going to get more problematic, etc. But intellectually I know that I could be quite happy with this woman. She's been great so far in most ways, and our personalities complement each other well. Despite that, I'm feeling the nascent attraction flagging, and I've always been one of those people who has to logic my way into an emotional attraction. The thing is, I'm not sure if that monologue is me self-sabotaging or if it's legitimate grayromantic concern or if it's me noticing small problems before they become big issues or or or...you get it. So the crux of my issue is that I'm not sure how much space to give to that voice in my head, how legitimate it is, and how much I should trust it versus my intellect--if they're really even in disagreement. And yeah, I know, therapy. Currently job hunting, it's getting punted until I sort that out. I'm specifically here to see if others have been through this kind of cognitive muck, and what insights you've found as you worked through the issues. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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