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Representation for an Aro character

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Guest Lorely

Hi everyone! I am not aro (I’m actually as plain as plain can be but that’s not relevant) and I’m writing a book. One of my characters is aro and I want to make sure I’m getting an accurate and fair representation for him and the aro community. Would really appreciate any tips/input on what you want to see from a bi aro male and what you would HATE to read in his character (for fellow bookworms!). I have an idea about his journey and his struggle with identifying his own identity and then breaking it to those around him (ya fantasy so to faerie society) and how it affects his relationships but would like to know more so I can be fair in my representation. Thank you in advance!

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Guest ---

First of all, I'm glad you're writing an aro character, especially an allo aro! Good luck! And please take all my suggestions as just that- suggestions, nothing more. It's your book and you have artistic license. 

It would be cool to see him struggle with some sort of guilt about being allo aro, to have that representation showing how society can view sexual attraction as taboo and how that view on it is toxic. If he is a person who was/ is though some part of the book in a mindset where he internally romanticized romantic relationships, he could deal with denial over him being aro as well, and possibly try to conform to biromantic expectations to fit his sexual orientation. If he goes a bit far with this stage, he might date someone in a romantic way and feel uncomfortable about being put in that position, leading to a realization about his aromanticism and a possible breakup? ~ A lot of aromantics, asexuals, etc have dealt with feeling broken because of reasons connected to this. Once he starts to accept his aromanticism he might see society in a bit of a different light as well- being able to see the ways society forces amatonormativity onto everyone and sees romantic relationships through rose colored glasses, through media, etc. 

(He might need to explain his orientation to family and friends when/if he comes out to them, as it isn't very widely known.) 

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A lot of people conflate aromanticism with shallowness and fear of commitment. So it would be nice if he has strong relationships, just not romantic ones.

I suppose with bisexual people there's always the stereotype that they're hyper sexual and just want to have sex with everyone. So you could subvert that by having him not have very strong libido and maybe needing time getting to know someone before he is interested in sexual acitivity with them.

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