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Are these signs I'm aromantic?

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Guest Somebody(names are hard)

I am a cis female, and I've been thinking a lot about whether I am arospec/acespec since i heard the term aromantic and did some research. The thing is, I'm not sure whether my seeming lack of romantic attraction is genuine. 

Some things that cause this are:

At 7 years old, I thought that it seemed like relationships were the cause of all problems, so I swore that I would never have one. Since then I have never felt any feelings that seem even slightly like romantic attraction. It has been a significant period of time since then.

I have had what I thought were crushes, but turned out to be a desire to be friends with people. 

I am an avid reader, and especially like YA, but alway feel frustrated, bored, or disgusted by (the inevitable) romance. I also find myself skimming over "romantic" scenes, or kissing/suggestive scenes. I have read/watched very few romances that didnt feel forced to me.

Until I came across the term aromantic, I assumed that romantic and sexual attraction always went hand in hand, and having never experienced sexual attraction, I assumed I was straight and it would come in time. When I came across the term asexual, it took me a while(2 years), but when I began to consider it for me, I was upset because I do want a relationship, but (now, after reading about them), queerplatonic seems to fit the categories.

I never feel like I am, or notice when other people are flirting.

I feel uncomfortable when people are interested in me romantically.

I have wondered if my feelings toward people are romantic or platonic (these sound a lot like squishes now but since I no longer actively feel those feelings, I am unsure).

I have rejected attempts at physical and emotional closeness if it began to resemble what I saw as romantic.

Sorry for the long list, but I really appreciate any help. I am not looking for people to say definitively one way or another, but if anyone has had similar experiences, that would be helpful. Thank you so much.

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Hello! I have to say that a lot of the things you said are very relatable to those on the aro spectrum. In high school/junior high I also made this conscious decision for myself that I wouldn't date for several reasons such as "I need to focus on school", "my school is small therefore there's no point in dating from such a small pool of options", and "high school sweethearts are statistically uncommon so what's the point?" etc. Sometimes I viewed love from a rather logical point of view which should've been a sign for me 

You appear to also be experiencing romance repulsion to a degree which is quite common in the aromantic community. Personally, I go crazy for gay romance, but if it's straight I will scrutinize it with all kinds of made up criteria in my head. I used to love Teen Fantasy and Adventure books, but the last time I wandered through that section searching for a book I found the word "romance/romantic" in the description of almost every book I picked up and it bothered me a lot. Then the one I bought had a romance that was ehhhhhh to me (with a sex scene that was even more ehhhhhh to me). Now I don't go through that section because I feel like it has betrayed me. Just give me beautiful platonic friendships in a novel plzz 😭 

I haven't been asked out very often, so I don't have much experience to draw on concerning some of your points. However there was one time when I was asked out and it made me so uncomfortable. I said yes because I felt pressured to, but then the stress of a relationship made me break it off a few hours later. I literally couldn't stand the idea of being romantic with someone and the way he was acting towards me felt so wrong. I knew I couldn't reciprocate. 

I hope I was helpful in sharing my similar experiences with you :) 

 

 

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