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I've just realised I'm aro 8 months into a relationship


Arobi

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I came to the realisation today that I'm aro, a week after a moved in with my partner. We've been together for 8 months, the last 3 of which were long distance. This past week has brought up feeling I had before the relationship that I pushed aside when, at the time, I thought I liked my partner in a romantic sense. They are a very romantic person and don't believe in a relationship without romantic love, which I've come to the conclusion I don't feel at all and while I can't help my romantic attraction I feel awful for feeling like this. We tell each other we love one another a lot and me realising it's not romantically makes me feel like I'm lying to them. I need to sit down with them and talk about this, but I'm having difficulty with how 

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Hey there, well your situation is kinda similar to what I experienced in my past relationship. What I can tell you is that the convo should happen. Steps? First sit them down, and have something to drink. Look at their eyes and start saying what you are feeling, what you have felt and how you have felt it. Look up what is your label and explain it to them. You have to be sincere, but you should expect tears, and your partner will most probably feel betrayed. This is not your fault, you cannot control how you feel, keep it in mind. Let them know that you are there for the long run, but the rules have changed mid way and now both have to deal with the new rules (you being aro-spec). It is not your fault, you discovered something about you and you want to keep your partner up to date. Talk it out, and try to find a happy medium, don't do anything you do not feel comfy, but understand that your partner also is a person and don't expect that they will accept everything from the get go. It will take time, and a lot of effort but it can be done if you want it. Hope it helps, cheers.

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