Hi I’m new

[LoveIsZaxlebax]

I am an aro allosexual attracted to males, and I don’t experience much of a qualitative difference between friendship and love.  I figured out that “romantic love” as most people mean it is totally different from what I experienced as love.  I thought that romantic love was just friendship-feeling plus wanting to sleep with someone, and in general I get more platonically attached to people than others think is appropriate.  

I am a very possessive and controlling person but in a pragmatic, means-to-an-end way, not in a romantic way.  I don’t like the expected degree of altruism or caregiving in romance, nor the expected emotional sensitivity/vulnerability, nor the demand for a degree of trust that seems irrational and self-endangering to me.  I just don’t see the appeal of trusting people without self-protective countermeasures or togetherness for togetherness’ sake.

I also don’t like the expectation of non-ownership and non-accountability in regular friendships.

I am really into BDSM Owner/property and Master/servant dynamics, but I’ve encountered a lot of amatonormative shaming in that community because I don’t want a caring, intimacy-focused, trusting, yucky-vulnerable romantic dynamic, nor do I want casual anything.  I’m just a guy who’s happier getting his way, with another guy who’s happier leaving things up to someone else and doesn’t care what I do.

I am an objectivist, like *very* objectivist...aside from my disagreement with corporatism and my interest in returning to nature/green anarchism.  I am on the autism spectrum and don’t like being touched.  I detest homemade food unless it was made over a campfire—it’s the one flavor profile that can’t be done better in a restaurant because restaurants are indoors.  I believe flowers belong on the plant, picking them is vandalism and they attract bees into your dwelling and they wilt.  My Hogwarts/Ilvermorny houses would’ve been Slytherin/Wampus if I’d gone to wizard school.  I am a proud cat-dad of a miniature tiger named Princess.

Edited May 9, 2020 by LoveIsZaxlebax
My cat reminded me to mention her

[Neir]

Welcome! Have some aro ice cream as a little gift: 

You'll be quite happy to hear, perhaps, that there are many proud cat-parents here as well. I also think you have a lot of interesting experiences that would lend greatly to discussions. I hope you find some good folks here.