Collie Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 So, I used to have romantic feelings for this person. Started out as a squish, over three or so years it turned into something a bit more. For a long time I wanted to marry her, and I could picture myself cuddling her, possibly kissing them, those kind of things. I'm still SUPER DUPER fond of this person, that hasn't died down a bit. I'd totes want to spend the rest of my life with them, if they'd allow it. But some of the romantic gestures I used to be able to picture with them, I don't want anymore. Could my romantic feelings have changed to queerplatonic? I've always had fond feelings for squishes and the like, while (usually) knowing that I had no desire to be with them romantically or sexually. Though, it's true that they are more intense for this person than they have been for others--not to mention, most of my squishes died down after a few months, this one has been going multiple years now. I don't want to do romantic things with her, though, not anymore. What I do want would be to live with her, to know everything about her, to be the person she comes to for support, be around her forever, etc. Which, I guess, does sound more like romance than it does a squish, with everything I've said in this post? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 It's totally possible for romantic feelings to change to queerplatonic! People all the time have platonic feelings for people that turn romantic and even back to platonic. Why couldn't queerplatonic feelings be a possibility, too? Figuring out the difference between platonic, romantic, and queerplatonic feelings can definitely be really confusing because I don't think many actions are inherently only/always platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic even for the same person. Sure, sharing your life with someone and being their Person(TM) can be romantic - but why does that mean it also can't be platonic or queerplatonic? I think what's important is how you categorize your own feelings. Yeah, wanting to live with her and share secrets with her and be each other's support system is BIG, but if you don't categorize those desires as romantic, then they're not romantic! You can totally want to live with your qpp and of course be important parts of each other's lives and support systems. Just because our amatonormative society typically treats those desires as romantic doesn't mean you have to automatically consider them romantic. =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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