Beelithic Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I am questioning-identity looking for advice on a specific situation. The past year, I was in a relationship with an aromantic partner. I used to identify as aromantic before I fell in love with this person, so I already understood right off the bat what kind of unique boundaries an aromantic person needs. I never expected more of their time or space than they were willing to give, and they openly appreciated me for it. They knew I didn't need them to love me romantically, and they were comfortable with my romantic feelings. As time went on in the relationship, they started saying that they loved me (non-romantically) more than they loved anyone else, and that they needed me in their life. They would joke about how we complimented each other perfectly as a couple. We talked about future possibilities (anniversaries, living together, how we would raise kids, ect) mutually and positively. I wanted to marry them one day, and assumed they felt the same. I got stupid and reckless; I started talking about future plans as if we had already finalized an engagement. It scared them, and two months ago they broke up with me, saying they couldn't commit to one person for the rest of their life. They've been avoiding me ever since. The breakup and their fear of commitment felt very out of the blue. And I'm still in love with them. What advice would relationship-positive aromantics give me about this? Should I accept the fact that I irrevocably messed up by disrespecting their boundaries, and let my ex go? Or do I have a chance, and if so, what should I keep in mind about rebuilding the relationship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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