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I think I may be aromantic but I need help figuring it out



Hello to whoever is reading this! My names Robin. I apologize in advance if my grammar/spelling is bad. I'm not really sure what I'm feeling is love because I've felt this way about alot of people before and still do. Basically I see certain people and think "wow they're pretty, maybe I like them" and then I usually think about them alot and that's just been my definition of a crush. So I always assumed that's what a crush was but when I was little a few of my friends described what having a crush was like so I just kinda played along and always thought that was what I was feeling was a crush. So I left it at that and then recently I started thinking about it again because just last year I was introduced to the LGBTQ community and started identifying as a nonbinary pansexual. Late last year I was introduced to the term aromantic and have been looking at some stuff on the aro spectrum. For a while I thought I was greyromantic but just kinda forgot about it. I'm interested in romantic relationships but just even thinking of kissing makes me want to gag. I'm pretty young to be trying to figure this all out so soon and I'm aware I have my whole life ahead of me to figure it out but it bothers be that I dont have a place to belong or a word I can use to describe what I'm feeling. Hope this all made sence :)

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the type of attraction you seem to be describing is aesthetic.  for some people, it can lead to sexual and/or romantic attraction, but simply thinking someone is nice-looking doesn't equate to that.  like when i find a woman aesthetically attractive, that's all it is.  there's also platonic attraction, which is basically wanting to be friends or queerplatonic partners with someone, and many aros experience squishes, which are sometimes compared to crushes, but platonic.  this is where the 'thinking about them a lot' may come in.  i suppose the person's appearance could be a factor, but it tends to be based on personality.  if you are aro, that doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship or experience love.  just probably not romantic.  but there is an arospec identity term for those who don't experience romantic attraction but desire romantic relationships: cupioromantic.  hope that helps somewhat.

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