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How did you figure out you were arospec?


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I just want to hear how some people figured out they were arospec—I think it might help me determine if I am.


I haven’t ever really had a crush on someone, as far as I know, but I wouldn’t be against dating people that I like as friends/in general. I do want to be in a romantic relationship, and have been in the past, but it wasn’t much different from being really good friends who sometimes kiss, cuddle, and hold hands.


I used to think I must have been a lesbian, until I didn’t really have crushes on girls either (and then I realized I’m trans masculine anyway lol).

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I sometimes wondered why it seemed to me that everyone around me fell in love (and in my eyes so easily.) For example, I was a bit amazed at how someone who confessed to me (and I rejected them) had a girlfriend not even a year later. 


I stumbled upon the term after searching the internet when once again I wondered if there was something wrong with me for not falling in love or not liking the idea of a romance in a relationship, or even not really desiring a relationship. I watched a clip of someone talking about aromanticism, and something clicked in my head, it was like “oh, a lot of this is really familiar." 


Though, I’m still not sure how well this term fits me, but what I know is that I can find myself in a lot of the characteristics of being aromantic.



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I always thought that i was very into romance because i had what I thought were multiple crushes all throughout middle and high school but for those i never actually would ever get to a point where i wanted to ask them out so they were always at a comfortable distance where no romantic things were happening. 
The summer after my senior year i went to a summer camp for music and saw someone I thought was attractive and we started talking and ended up being in a relationship except the night it actually got serious i was super uncomfortable. It was my first actually relationship so when i was going to bed i kept telling myself that we was supposed to like it. I ended up avoiding her the next morning and during a class i looked up the term aromantic and I felt like it kinda clicked although i wasn’t 100% because of the previous experiences i mentioned but I thought it was accurate and it took me a whole until the next day to actually tell her what was going on. Thankfully she was super cool and understanding but it took a bit to fully explain what was up.

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