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I had my first kiss and it was pretty weird!!


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I'm 18 (almost 19) and kissed someone for the first time a few weeks ago. The experience totally confirmed all my aromanticism, the only thing I got from the experience was a bit of guilt because the guy is one the nicest people I know, and that I never want to kiss anyone again anytime soon!! 

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First time I kissed I was drunk, it felt alright? Nothing to write home about. Second time I was high as a kite, it felt like too much tongue too soon into the kiss. It says a lot that I had to not be sober to let myself be kissed. I can't understand when someone says they want to kiss. I'm like, "seems fake but okay." 

 

I totally get it though. I felt bad too because the guy who kissed me actually took my hand and pressed it to his chest and said something about how his heart was beating super fast, very sweet but meanwhile here I was cool as a cucumber. I was thinking, wait does that happen? Like, in real life and not in books? 

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The first time I kissed a guy, we were hugging at the end of a date and he said "Your heart's beating pretty fast." I wanted to tell him that I have an unusually quick pulse, but I figured I ought to kiss him instead. Felt like nothing. Tasted of nothing. Tongue was a bit intrusive I guess. Then afterwards, of course, I felt guilty.

 

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