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snapesonalane

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About snapesonalane

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    Val

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  1. Lol as an aroace I can attest to this. On an ace discord server I'm in they were talking about cuddling and bed sharing for like 15 minutes straight. It's funny because I've never been into bed sharing much. Whenever I would imagine being married I wondered if they would be offended or take it as a bad sign if I insisted on separate bedrooms or at least separate beds.
  2. I also look at people with an almost artistic eye. The curve of a cheekbone, the fluid way in which someone moves, etc. But because I find them so aesthetically attractive I do get nervous as well. It's almost like I put them in a pedestal and feel I am "not worthy" of speaking to this beautiful person. Lol since I get nervous I get teased by less perceptive people who assume I'm interested romantically. I hear ya! I also used to think I was bisexual because of that aesthetic lens. This happened more so with celebrities but yeah, I used to think I was bi because I equally admir
  3. I remembered this little anecdote of when I was around 4 or 5 (so a very very early sign I was aro). It was my aunt's wedding and I was all cute in a little blue dress, an adorable little toddler. So there was this boy, the son of one of my aunt's friends. He was around my age and they would joke about us being very cute together even though we were fucking five (because, y'know, heteronomativity). So fast forward to the reception. This little boy some how got it into his head that he absolutely needed to dance with little five year old me. He threw a giant tantrum and in the end t
  4. Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Yes! I second this! She likes sex and flirting but whenever a character gets romantically emotionally intimate she seems uncomfortable. Of course, the narrative seems to imply it's because of emotional intimacy issues, but she doesn't seem to have those problems with platonic relationships such as her friendship with angel whenever she appears in angel the series. Also, isn't it just more fun to think of her as aro instead?
  5. Lol saaaaaaaame! I just loved the idea of having a friendship as close as Bella and Jacob's, although admittedly I only ever saw the movies so I'm sure I missed out on their friendship. Things got way boring for me once the love triangle came in, I was not into it. I always used to think those kinds of friendships were what romance should be like, oh how naive my aro ass was. I was always so confused when they told me I must like someone. I just didn't get it. I would think, well who made that silly rule? When pressed I would actually say I liked someone from "my old sch
  6. Yes for some reason it's important to me too. It doesn't hurt me in any way but I guess it's that almost responsibility to explain the split attraction model and not create misconceptions that makes it really important that I explain.
  7. Much like @Falcon7 I also add a short explanation. I feel like it confuses people because I'm basically say, "not all aces are aro," when they say something implying that assumption. Then they ask me what I am then I have to sheepishly reply that while not all aces are aro, I certainly am.
  8. I should have mentioned I experience next to zero sensual attraction towards any gender, although my touch aversion and aspergers might be a big factor in that. I'll get an urge to trace the lines of their bodies with my eyes, almost as if for reference, but never any urge to touch. I do agree though that action (or rather the urge to take action) and attraction are very different. Perhaps that is why we have such a hard time defining our attractions, because we base them so much on whether we experience attraction and not on whether we experience an urge to act on that attraction. For e
  9. I'm the opposite. I'll look at a girl who I like the look of and wish I could look like that. If she looks effortlessly cool I want to exude that kind of effortlessness as well. With guys it's a lot more of how they move, their gestures, their forearms are kind of a thing for me. Long fingers, the way tshirts settle on their shoulder blades. Its simple aesthetic attraction and since I'm a writer I find I often shape characters according to those characteristics I like. But yeah, when I want to emulate a girl I think looks aesthetically pleasing it's generally not good for my self esteem 😅 sinc
  10. Yeeeeeeees! Like an itchy throat that could escalate to dry heaving.
  11. I'm the same. I won't turn down a greeting hug (even if I don't really like hugging and it doesn't feel natural to me) because I don't want to be rude. I only ever hug my mom or my siblings, true hugs I mean. Not greeting hugs. Kissing is as you said: meh. And I don't even think I've ever even cuddled in my life with anyone that wasn't family and even then I can only take like 30 seconds of that. I can't even fathom cuddling with someone, it just seems so weighted in romantic interest. Even if it weren't no thanks.
  12. @Apathetic Echidna I tend to dislike other more possessive petnames ever more. My love, my darling. Ew! Put that shit back where it came from or so help me god--
  13. Me too. I try not to use sexually weighted words because I don't like it when people sexualize my experience. Suddenly it'll feel tainted. For example I've always thought vocalist Brendan Urie to be very sexy. But what I mean by sexy isn't based on sex, just on the way he moves and acts which I like watching because it's aesthetically attractive. But I don't say much of this out loud because what other people hear is, "you're thirsty for Brendan Urie" (I heard those exact words once when I did describe him as sexy). I often joke that if I were sexual Brendan Urie would have been my sexual awak
  14. I had a similar experience with women I found pretty. With men it was just the whole heteronomativity thing at play so I never questioned finding men aesthetically attractive. But when I realized I found women aesthetically attractive and since at the time I had to frame of reference to realize what I was feeling wasn't sexual or romantic attraction (because I also confused aesthetic for sexual before I knew I was ace) I assumed it must mean I'm bi. I played around with a lot of labels before I realized I just wasn't feeling any "I want to fuck" OR "I want to date" feelings for anyone.
  15. YMBAI you've never wanted to kiss someone and were surprised to learn that when people say, "I want to kiss [x]" they aren't just conciously deciding they want to kiss, it's an actual urge for them.
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