Is this considered masturbating?

[Guest bebb9...ce8]

I consider myself to be asexual, and I've never really doubted myself in that area. However, there are certain things I think about in bed, and sometimes when I do this I get "wet". Things that no-one would consider sexual, in any way. For example, the intense emotional loss a particular character in a book goes through when they lose their child. Things like that, that tug on the heartstrings. Now I've heard that guys can get a boner from playing video games, because anger is a strong emotion and strong emotions can cause an erection. I suppose what I've been doing is similar? When I think about these things, and I have a full-ish bladder, I feel a kind of pleasure rush through my middle (I once wondered if it was an orgasm, but I don't think it is). I don't like to try to poke and prod down there while I'm doing this though, so I suppose it's not really masturbating.

 

Anyway, I know it's quite weird, and I would never try to explain it to anyone in person. I'm wondering if anyone else does something similar. If not, I'm cool with being an anonymous weirdo.

Anonymous poster hash: bebb9...ce8

[nonmerci]

I think that masturbation is more an action than a thought (you have to touche you). What you describe is more similar to a fantasy, I'd say.

Now that this is said, I don't think it means you're not asexual. I'm asexual too, and it's the same for me : there are some images and thoughts that produces this physical reaction, even i there are nothing sexual in it. When I was younger, I thought I was incontinent when I get wet, because I couldn't link that to anything sexual (and probably because I had no idea that people get wet).

A lot of asexuals can be aroused. The difference with allos is, I think, that when we do, we don't desire someone. We have the physical reaction, but that's it.

[Guest 4e83a...019]

Female physical arousal can be triggered by all sorts of things, and really in it's basic purpose it is to keep us from getting hurt.

It may be a common concept of 'sex after a funeral' , but I actually do know quite a few allosexuals that have a lusty reaction to sadness. So the strong emotions can quickly adapt to be arousal because of the wiring of our brains connects to the wiring of our bodes. I'm sure the strong emotions that trigger this are not the same for everyone, and it is likely not to happen every time,  but I don't think it is weird. I think the difference is just as nonmerci says 

14 hours ago, nonmerci said:

The difference with allos is, I think, that when we do, we don't desire someone. We have the physical reaction, but that's it.

 

Spoiler

I sometimes find myself getting 'wet' at hunt-type suspense things, which I choose to interpret as my body trying to protect me from possible danger from the completely fictional scenario. Fight or flight kicks in (because the movie is good and immersive), but if I fly and get caught my body has already started trying to protect me as best it can (from the actor portraying a threat on a screen which the body totally doesn't understand...). So yeah, strong emotions when the mind is worked up can just set the body off into physical arousal mode. 

As for the bladder thing, well probably TMI:

Spoiler

If I don't want to pee for some reason I tend to think of things that get me aroused. It feels good and makes it easier to control, unlike laughing which makes it harder to control. So there is no doubt some physical reaction down there that impacts the bladder system and in turn the pressure from the bladder augments the pleasure. It is different from normal arousal. I doubt the pleasure rush is an orgasm but if it is good and you like it, great! I also don't like to touch at that time as I think actually masturbating could get messy in one way or another...and really if I am too lazy to get out of bed and pee I certainly don't want to have to deal with other mess. 

Answered by another anonymous weirdo.

Anonymous poster hash: 4e83a...019

[Guest 98b5d...5bd]

Most people would say masturbation is a physical act. It sounds like what you're describing is fantasies that cause sexual arousal.

 

That's definitely something that can happen even when you're fantasising about things that are not sexual - in fact it's pretty normal! Many women in particular find they can be sexually aroused by fantasies that really aren't about sex. 

 

It's been speculated that part of the reason for this is that the physiological processes involved in sexual arousal have things in common with the physiological processes involved in highly emotional states, and sometimes your brain just... trips over the line from one to another. So yeah, a bit like your analogy with video games!

 

Frankly, sexual arousal is weird. We generally can't control what we're sexually aroused by, but you don't have to act on sexual arousal if you don't want to, or if it makes you uncomfortable to feel that way.

 

On the other hand if you do want to explore those feelings, that's fine too! You can be asexual and enjoy masturbating. Masturbating can feel good regardless of whether you ever want to have sex with another person. They're totally different things.

 

On 4/24/2018 at 3:15 AM, Guest 4e83a...019 said:

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I sometimes find myself getting 'wet' at hunt-type suspense things, which I choose to interpret as my body trying to protect me from possible danger from the completely fictional scenario. Fight or flight kicks in (because the movie is good and immersive), but if I fly and get caught my body has already started trying to protect me as best it can (from the actor portraying a threat on a screen which the body totally doesn't understand...). So yeah, strong emotions when the mind is worked up can just set the body off into physical arousal mode. 

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Yeah, it's suuuuuper normal to experience sexual arousal with fear-related fantasies. There's a reason a majority of women report having had at least one sexual fantasy about rape. For me I've always been turned on by fantasies/fictional scenarios involving powerlessness, although like @nonmerci it wasn't until I was older that I understood what was going on down there!

 

Anonymous poster hash: 98b5d...5bd

[Guest 5ef13...966]

I don’t have much to add, I just wanted to say I’m happy you posted this- I’m the same way and I was thinking I was an anonymous weirdo. doing this actually makes my bladder full and I generally have to get out of bed and pee afterwards. for me it’s also mostly nonsexual things that have a lot of emotion in them, like gory fight/death scenes. (I find imagining actual sex or touching is a turn-off, which kinda confuses me...) so seeing everyone’s replies to this has been really helpful and informative

Anonymous poster hash: 5ef13...966