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Coming off with a Cold-Front



So I go to this music academy and I am the daughter of the owner and I have this problem with one of her students. At an August performance, where a lot of the students get together and play for each other, this 12-year-old played a really cool song (super showy, not that much technique). I did singing, because I was doing voice and piano at the time (I have quit voice), and I did badly but whatever. This 16-year-old guy did really badly, but he gets really nervous so I sort of feel bad for him. Then when we went into the other room my mom remembered that my twin and I didn't get to play our piano duet. So she said alright whoever wants to can come in and listen to our duet, and everyone did except for this guy. My sister (17--3 yrs older than me) asked him if he was going to go in. He said "Why? So I can watch them embarrass themselves?" I took that as offensive, and since then I see him as a loser. Now, though, I'm trying to see it from his perspective, which is that he did really badly and he was probably frustrated that they did so much better. I saw him the other day for another one of our performance thingies and he got super nervous when he performed (there were like a dozen or so people watching, and his hands were shaking) and I felt bad for him. Then later, when I was cleaning up from treat (we have it each time) *just saying, I am a lot of a 'waitress' at these performance things because I am the daughter of the owner and I clean up the treat we have and other stuff* he said thank you *my name* and he was nice, even if we didn't talk. 

Now that there's the situation, here's my dilemma. I don't want to become like real friends with him because I don't know if he's a jerk or not. But I keep coming off with an "I'm ignoring you because I detest you" thing. I'm an introvert, I don't like social interactions, and I don't like eye contact or small talk. This happens with a lot of people though, I come off with this cold-front and I've tried fixing it and I'm seriously messing up. What should I do?

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Well, as for making yourself seem friendly without actually becoming a friend-to-everyone personality you could just smile a lot. Smiling can make you seem friendlier without much effort and you don't need any small talk skills to smile and nod. You can probably avoid talking much of the time if you smile and nod. 


As for the comment the guy made, he could be a jerk or he could believe people are as nervous as him but hide it better so he was legitimately doing them a favour by not going to their performance, allowing the audience to be smaller. 

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