CanadianBird
-
Posts
59 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
2
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Store
Events
Posts posted by CanadianBird
-
-
I love how cozy they are but I'm not to sure I'd like to live there forever. Maybe just a couple of months :)
-
Barbie!
(Just got back too haha)
-
3
-
-
Neat idea!
and hanging in there thanks :D
-
9 hours ago, SwiftySpeedy said:
WE HAVE BASES EVERYWHERE Find Community Groups In Your Area - Aces & Aros (acesandaros.org)
This is so cool, thanks!
-
Hands down the best thing I've heard all week. Lads, a genius walks among us.
Lets do it!!
-
1
-
-
Can I give you the biggest internet hug ever?
I can't say that I know where exactly you can find a QPR, but Tumblr is great and I think that Arocalypse has a section for it too. Please know that you are definitely not alone!
Funny, but I can relate to this a whole lot. A few months ago I had a mini breakdown thinking that I was toxic and selfish because I wanted a best friend all to myself to love, but that it probably would never happen. At the time I had no idea I was aromantic but once I learned about QPRs I was able to make the connection. If my best friend were to enter a relationship I would also feel a bit jealous not at all because I want to date them but because... ykw between attention and time it's difficult to explain without sounding really toxic :,)
-
2
-
-
Hello! I read someone talking about picrew makers the other day and decided to dump a bunch of my favorite ones here in case anyone is looking for a fun one.
https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/644129
-
1
-
-
No problem!! Glad I could help out :D
-
Hm, it sounds like you might be lithoromantic.
I know there is a term for people who don't experience romantic attraction because they happen to Neurodivegent or experiencing mental exhaustion. It might be Requesromantic but I'm, not sure.
If it helps here is a list of romantic and aromantic microlabels :)
-
Not even kidding, I just came back from writing slashfic. As an aromantic. Anyways here's my take on it:
On Arocalypse I've actually talked about the struggles of writing romance as an aro, but the gist is yeah, it's definitely awkward. Sometimes it feels stiff and forced, and if it isn't, you don't really have a way to tell. To help I found a beta reader (who is allo) to read it over and comment on the 'flow'. It's done wonders for my writing and I can't recommend it more. (It also helps if they're a close friend and you trust them not to be condescending!)
I also think it helps to hyper focus on phrases that kind of imply something without going the full length. In some cases this works even better as 1) it's realistic and 2) you give the audience a little bit of what they want at a time and everyone goes home happy.
Additionally if you'd like to insert knowledge your own personal experiences from close friendships - that's a fabulous idea. I personally find it great and really helpful. Sometimes there will be moments where you feel "full" and infinite with love for your friends and family members. That feeling can be compared with romantic love, just slightly different (in the way that it's more exclusive and either party may crave a physical element).
Hope this helps? :)
-
2
-
-
Could this match what you're thinking?
-
2
-
-
5 hours ago, Rackson said:
I know that If I tell my parents that I don't really feel romantic love for anyone that they will be completely fine with that, but if I tell them that it is related with lgbtqia+ then they would freak the f*ck out.
About the same for me. During an assembly I heard a bible verse talking about those who choose to never marry going father than others who do. Technically speaking the Christian bible (at least the one I use) supports aromanticism, BUT what it doesn't support is association with the lgbtqia+ community. My parents are devout Christians who insist on associating every aspect of life with religion. I have already told them that I likely won't get married. It's funny because being not-straight can mean you're aromantic which the bible does support, but being aromantic means that you aren't straight which the bible does not support. Confusing much?
-
1
-
-
3 hours ago, WizardGrayFire said:
tpbm listens to lovejoy or Cavetown
I'm a hardcore lovejoy fan xDD
-
1
-
-
-
1 hour ago, HelloThere said:
This. Was gorgeous. No words.
And hey! Where's my invitation to the geek club??
Because I'm a huge gaming and cartoon nerd:
-
9 hours ago, Collie said:
For me, I find that I'm kinda demiromantic about shipping Like. I may like a ship. But I don't ship them in the way that most people do, unless I take a long time to get used to them being a thing. I have ships where I want all the shippy interactions! All of them! Only a handful of ships fall under this category, but still.
And then I have other ships where, yeah, I ship them on a technicality, but also..... I treat the ship more as a QPR in my head than I do a romantic ship.
I relate to this a lot! With most ships out there I'll sometimes have trouble shipping them romantically. Not necessarily in a QPR, but just as friends/family. But when I do find something that I ship... haha. I'm deranged to say the least 😅
It's just to find something that I do ship, and then jump onto the boat! But like you said sometimes it may take a long time to fall in love with it, in a demiromatic sort of way. For example Johnlock was pretty big but for a long time I didn't really see it (and if I'm being totally honest not sure if I even do now) except in a close friendship vibes way. Thought doesn't change the fact that I've read 2M+ words for the slash. sobs
Same with Destiel. Imagine finally watching the show only to realize that you don't even ship it smh
-
1
-
-
Dude this is so me.
The only friends I've been able to say "Hey, I love you!" comfortably without insinuating romantic interest are the ones that already know I'm aromantic.
-
1
-
-
If you gen enjoy spending time with him and find him interesting, then I'd encourage you to go with the flow. It doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic as long as you're both aware and alright with that.
However if you said yes because you think that later on you might feel more attracted to him, it could become an issue. What if you don't? What if you're suddenly stuck inside a long-term relationship that you don't care for and your partner does? Unfortunately romantic attraction doesn't always arrive with time.
You're still in the beginning stages so anything can happen! You know you better than anyone so if you think that it'll work out and you like him (doesn't have to be romantically) then go for it! Anyways wishing you luck in figuring it out :)
-
I'd think so. Craving sex and craving romance are two separate feelings/emotions so it would definitely make sense to have scales for both.
-
True!
TPBM hates pankcakes
-
1
-
-
6 hours ago, Dobby said:
Thank you for your reply :)
Yes you explained it well, at least i think i understand a bit better now. And i think you're right, nobody have to have a strong attraction (wether romantic or platonic), and it's reassuring to know that it's not an obligation. But at the same time, sometimes i feel like i might need it, even if it seems like i can't experience it. To be honest i don't know. But in anyway, i will try not to trap myself in a box like you said, and we will see i guess.
You mentionned that you were kinda emotionless, may i ask you a question then ? I wondered, do you know if "that's the way it is" and there's nothing that can make someone not being apathetic anymore, or can it change ? Like i know it's not like a disease or a medical condition that can be "cured", and i'm really sorry if my question is harmfull for you. But the perpective of being as i am now for the rest of my life makes me quite anxious about the future. Sometimes i wonder if i even want a future in that conditions. Aromantism is fine for me i guess, but feeling barely anything is for me a really heavy thing to bare everyday. That's why until now i clung to the hope that i will one day change and feel less empty, because otherwise, it seems meaningless to me (at least for now).
Anyway, thank you for your time and reply, that's really kind of you <3
Hey it's no problem at all :)
It can definitely change. As we grow and change so will our emotions and viewpoints. Maybe at this moment in time you're feeling really down, and just a little hopeless. I would encourage you to find something that makes you happy, content, or a little less lonely. Then when you're at you absolute fullest and feel "complete" ask yourself if you truly want a partner as a way to know for sure. This is something that really helped me a TON, because my mental health was constantly interfering with my emotions towards others. When I found a break in the storm, I took the chance to find my answer. But even now I'm not totally sure. I don't think I want a partner but at the same time I could want a partner so I try to keep an open mind.
Can apathy be cured? Sure, but I've found maybe it doesn't need to be. Sometimes it's extinguishing to care about everything all the time, but just because you don't care about some things, no matter no significant does not mean that there's something wrong. It's OK to not Understanding that, if you want to care then I'm sure there is some process, baby steps probably but I'm not an expert so I'll try not to mislead you haha. Just remember that if you want to care, and caring makes you feel better, then go for it. If not, then don't feel like some thing is wrong with you. At the end of the day what everyone does doesn't really matter as long as you're happy.
Sometimes having a partner can make someone feel better and at peace, but please know that it doesn't work for everyone!! For example, it doesn't work for me. But trust me when I say that you actually don't need one to feel happy. I know it sounds cliche but it's so so true. If you want to feel better/different then you absolutely can. If you want them to, things will change for you. Partners work as a solution for a lot of people, but my advice is just find whatever works for you. What makes you feel less empty? What would you be content with doing for the foreseeable future? And it can change! It could be more than one thing. Mix and match until you find the formula that works the best for you. And hey, maybe one day you do want a partner and it makes you feel happy. That's okay! As long as you truly enjoy the experience and give you joy.
ALSO I hate to add more to this but apathy could be caused by depression. I don't want to overstep or offend you in any way but if that's the case then I found this source that offers an idea of where to start if that's the case for you :) https://www.healthline.com/health/apathy#treatment
aaa okay it's about it but lemme know if I can help in any other way!!
-
I've said it before but while I was still trying to figure out whether I was aromantic or not I had a hard time separating it from general apathy (which I have a lot of XD). Sometimes apathy will affect one's attraction toward others, but other times it could be completely unrelated. I think it's great to remember that some aros are loveless, and don't feel much platonic attraction either. While being aromantic means that you can have QPR if you want, that doesn't mean that you absolutely have to have one. Not all aromantics feel strong connections to people. Additionally they may not feel much of a strong connection to anything, but specifically when talking about romance they've decided to use the label.
Something could also cause you to be aromantic, which could be being emotionless like you're talking about. Maybe the two are related??
I'd say that maybe don't exile yourself to a (metaphorical) island where you'll be alone forever. There is no strict rule book on who can and who can't have a QPR. The question is, ignoring labels, do you want one? People who feel little emotion can still have a QPP if they want one and/or it works for them :)
I don't think I explained this very well but hopefully it helps a little 😅
-
4 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:
I think what you should start by doing is trying to come to terms with sexuality- Not necessarily your sexuality, just sexuality in general. The concept of sex and sexual desire.
I agree with this!
I've had issues before where I didn't want to identify as anything other than asexual in addition to aromantic, because I thought that experiencing physical attraction to others (without romantic ones) would mean I was part of a group who objectify others. Being able to say that I was asexual was my "safety net" if anyone would start to spew hate about other queer folk. I really did not want to be associated or grouped with that crowd, so to appear 'cleaner' I began to use the label since I was technically on the spectrum. But that's not true! Sex isn't bad. It's totally okay to feel sexually attracted to someone/something even without romantic feelings!
A great place to start is becoming comfortable with the idea of sexual desire. It isn't dirty and it isn't something to be ashamed of. Some people don't experience it, but some people do. It is more than okay to be a part of the group that does experience it. It does not make you any less valid :)
-
1
-
-
What does "choosing" a crush mean/feel like?
in Aromantic Discussion
Posted
My experience "developing" a crush:
So I walk into a space, right. Look at everyone in the room. Who's hot? Who's cute? No one, actually. But you know, the more I look person A, the more I appreciate their individuality. Huh, maybe I just need to lower my standards. Wow, Person A is so cool. I really want them to like me. Wait, does that mean I like them? Oh look! I've got a crush now!!