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EternallyTBD

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Posts posted by EternallyTBD

    Come here to plan your wedding, even if you'll never have one!

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    I would wear something androgynous. My best friend who I thought I liked for a while is currently my imaginary husband because I’m not feeling creative enough to imagine someone else or no one right now. The colors will be creamy white, deep orange, and forest green. The venue is rustic and woodsy and in Vermont. There are twinkle lights because twinkle lights. I get a very large cake. The song that we dance to is “growing old on bleeker street” by AJR because he introduced me to it and we do cry together. It all sounds very pretty and happy until I realize I would be repulsed the whole time by binding myself in a romantic relationship forever. 
     

    Except for the getting married part, it all sounds pretty good though. 

    To fellow NBs, do you ever struggle to know where to sit?

    in Sexuality and Gender

    Posted

    I’m writing this after an instance of the aforementioned issue, please excuse my ranting. 
     

    So as high schoolers, even in my limited freshman experience, we tend to separate into boys and girls. Cross country is usually a co-ed sport, so I have that going for me, but even we separate when we’re being social (which is often). We just had our end-of-season banquet tonight, and, as usual, we split into girls’ and boys’ tables. Because I’m afab society expects me to sit with the girls so I had an incredibly boring and rather dysphoric night glancing longingly at the very exciting looking boys’ table. But I’ve accidentally (long story) sat at the boys’ table and it didn’t feel any more right. 
     

    Oh and just for reference, I am out as non-binary and wear my they/them pin EVERYWHERE, but I’ve also been out of questioning for only about 3 months and many people just don’t realize I’m trans. So nothing they do is to insult me personally, they just don’t know. 

    I can’t tell if I’m cupio or just ace

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    I’ve been struggling with this for a little while now, hopefully someone can help : )

    When I was little I had a “crush” on my best friend as we grew apart and then together and he eventually maybe started to love me back over the course of five-ish years. But more recently I went through some hard times with anxiety and gender and probably depression that was semi-triggered by the realization that maybe I’d never loved him to begin with. 
     

    I was just sad for a while but I kept turning back to my desire for a relationship when I fell apart. Then afterwards, when I accepted that I didn’t love him, I would just fall into depression again. Then there were some other kind of romantic moments that could have just been platonic that also mostly involved both of us crying that I probably shouldn’t post online that just made me feel like I was falling apart. But for the most part I was just back where I started. 
     

    After my gender revelation, I started thinking about my sexuality. I’d kind of always known I’m ace, but I thought maybe demiromantic for a while, mostly because we’d always been friends and I’d never felt the same way for anyone else. But demi didn’t explain why I’d invented myself a crush, so I turned to cupio and thought “hmm, this makes sense”. But now I’m seeing all of you aros who seem happy and whose posts I see myself in and I think “huh, maybe I’m aro and I don’t have to be sad that I’ll always want something I’ll never feel”. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I wouldn’t really want a romantic relationship if I had the chance, but I still get really lonely sometimes.  
     

    So, in conclusion, I am clueless. Also, that was really long so thanks for listening to my problems! Thank you for any advice you might decide to give. 

    • Like 1

    Acceptable romantic music

    in Aromantic Pride and Culture

    Posted

    The AJR obsessed child I am, I constantly swing between Turning Out and Turning Out pt. II (both by that band). 

    Also, as a side note, if anyone is looking for songs that have little or nothing to do with romance but are still, you know, significant feeling, I would highly recommend AJR. Most of their songs are ironic and little on the surface level but are very relatable if you dive deeper. 

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