merlindfluorite

I as an out & proud bisexual for a decade before I found out that aromanticism even existed, even after I left school & college, in my queer community, bars etc. people would always say yeah we're absolutely ace inclusive but unless you were questioning asexuality that was sort of it. I found aro through voidpunk, & it instantly made so much sense to me (& explained a fair amount of my relationship history as well) but it came with a bit of guilt, because for a while I felt like I was the stereotypical heartless bi that's seen so much in media.

I'm glad for it now because it helps me be a lot more present in all my relationships, whether platonic or familial or romantic, because I can communicate better about what I can give to a potential partner or friend, & there are less messy breakups when someone inevitably expects more from me. I barely date at all now and I concentrate on building a family through friendships, & I'm happier than I've ever been. I really think everyone should learn about romantic orientation just like we learn about sexual orientation.

I saw a post online somewhere about labels, and how sometimes it's easier to think of them as a lighthouse, so you can find your way to your community and people who share experiences, rather than islands that all have strict rules. If you find something important to you in both labels then go for it!

18 hours ago, queer_kaleidoscope said:

Hey, welcome to arocalypse! I hope you enjoy it here :)) 

15 hours ago, _pc_ said:

hiii, welcome! this place has helped me a lot (even in this little amount of time lmao), I hope it does for you too! its also just a really fun place to be XD

Thank you both very much! Yes I think it's always a good thing to find a space where people understand what you're on about. It's so much easier to be just relax and enjou something!

4 hours ago, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

I didn't find it in Site Comments but as you suggested, it's in Off Topic.  The link does work.

Great, glad it works! I'm not very well versed in discord but maybe I'll try it out at some point!

1 hour ago, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

There's a Discord?  I was offline for a long time so I'm sure I missed a lot.  Anyway, nice to meet you.

I saw it pinned in the Off Topic list, I don't know if the link is still active but I'm sure someone would be able to help!

Lovely to meet you too 😁

I agree with @bat, I think that if you're not erasing or denigrating a character's canon identity then it is all in the eye of the beholder.

In my experience, people that get angry over conflicting headcanons often do so because their headcanon is so important to their understanding and love of the character.

And then, of course, some people like to look for reasons to be indignant on the internet & irl, & when you encounter them, I recommend a very liberal use of the block function on whatever site you're on. If someone said that to me irl? I would reply by saying that aspec is part of the queer community & how can it be homophobic to have a queer headcanon for a character? Don't let anyone try to gatekeep our own spaces, & never feel ashamed for seeing some small representation when we so rarely find it.

On 3/24/2022 at 4:27 AM, Nix said:

I love it, haven’t made any plans for this year because of the pandemic, but I traveled through my own country last year and that was fun too.

The best part about the converter is that I can just decide to go on a whim. Only need the help of my neighbour to lift the thing in my car and I’m good. It has bolts that you turn to ‘clamp’ it to the sides of the car:

A tent is included so you have a place to stand. Plus I can close the rear car door and lock myself in the car should I feel safer to do so.

Yes I painted my car (and my bike) Next car I’m buying is getting a big sticker though, this was a huge pain to do 😅

That is incredible, I love it! Such a clever design, & so much more convenient than a caravan. I love the paint job!

I don't know what travelling this summer will be like, just as covid seems to be coming under control, the war in Ukraine seems to be escalating, it's hard to make any sort of plans. But like @roboticanary said, the ability to just pack up and go is useful, grab the opportunity to go somewhere when you can

On 3/24/2022 at 8:17 PM, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

https://youtu.be/PnoSxO_2ghQ

Oh my  actual stars, think I mentally repressed that. Incredible. What a masterpiece. Legendary. I need to watch it again. Immediately

On 3/24/2022 at 12:37 AM, 96Neko said:

I recently watched Encanto cause a friend told me he has this one song stuck in her hears...it was pretty nice but way to much singing why they start singing so often!? Neko Say's don't make muscial show just to say hello xD

Oh yeah I'm with Nix on this one. Musicals were everywhere when I was a kid. And some quite disturbing ones as well - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bedknobs and Broomsticks and stuff like, plus all the classic Disneys, some of it was a little cringy but it was just the norm.

17 hours ago, Nix said:

Yes, vampires have been a bit overused in the last… twenty years or so? Though I feel that the Castlevania cartoon was a pretty good recent dramatic vampire series. The vampires that weren’t Dracula that is, because he was just extremely depressed.

He did go through a lot. Poor guy. You're right though it was good, it must be due for a new series soon? 

I just remembered as I was typing this out that they are making a new Dracula movie, but focused on Renfield - and Nicholas Cage is cast as Dracula.

Just the most insane casting choice. I can't wait to see that.

16 hours ago, Nix said:

I love going on a holiday on my own, I own a minivan that I can convert to a camper. Technically that means I can camp anywhere but I prefer to go to a campground because I’d rather not be brutally murdered in the night. Traveling solo does raise a few eyebrows here and there, but I am a very approachable person plus my converted camper draws a lot of attention so I tend to make friend really quickly on said campgrounds :)

Last time I went on a holiday with a friend we went to Venice for the Biennale and we stayed in different hotels (he had already booked and when he asked me to come along his hotel was already fully booked) This worked perfectly since we would simply meet up in the morning halfway, spent the day going to all the art exhibits, eat diner together and then go to our separate hotels. 10/10 would do that again.

Jealous af. I bet it was amazing. Will you go this year? I haven't had a holiday since before the pandemic and I swear I'm on travel sites every other day.

Also I am fascinated by the minivan camper conversion - was it difficult? Caravan parks & camping grounds are usually pretty friendly in my experience. I always read reviews and all those safety tips. Travelling alone makes you very safety conscious I think.

17 hours ago, Lovebird said:

I don't like the idea of me traveling completely on my own due to my disabilities, so I currently travel with a disability service that offers those opportunities, nationally and internationally. 

When I do gain enough independence and I live with my boyfriend, I hope to do some travelling with him in future.  

 

So many places claim to be accessible or disability friendly & then just fall down, I'm glad you've found a trustworthy service so you can travel. Getting everything organised and planned out can be so stressful, you end up needing double the holiday!

Definitely a solo traveller, but I'll go with a friend or two if I get the chance. I will say that I generally try to go by or rent a car, if I go far, because it feels a little safer when I'm on my own. Love a road trip.

I definitely think there's a stigma to travelling alone though, plus the extra cost of paying for whole rooms etc. by yourself. The Aro Life Tax, as it were.

17 hours ago, Nix said:

I love What we do in the shadows! The series is great too. Vampires are usually portrayed as these beautiful tortured creatures, but the idea that they are totally out of touch with current times and kind of stupid makes them way better.

Not sure how to feel about Jared Leto as he creeps me out. Also I remember cartoon Morbius having these funky mouths on his handpalms. Did they decide that was too weird?

I didn't see any funky handmouths in the trailer, but perhaps they're keeping that a surprise? Jared hasn't had much luck picking film projects imo, apart from Requiem and Dallas Buyers Club.

Yes absolutely! There is so much comedy in the idea of out of touch old vampires trying to keep up with the all the current fashions. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed Interview with the Vampire as much as the next person but it seems like it's been a while since a good dramatic vampire movie. I don't even know if you could make one after all the years of Twilight and Tru Blood etc. Who would take it seriously?

5 hours ago, alto said:

That would be brilliant lol

5 hours ago, Nix said:

That is a great idea! You could start a topic about it, I think I have some movies in mind already 😅

I'm gonna do it 🤣

On a different note, I just saw a trailer for Morbius. How does this thread feel about Jared Leto and vampires? I gotta say my fave vampire movie is What We Do in the Shadows, instant classic.

14 hours ago, alto said:

Encanto was pretty damn good, especially seeing as there was NO ROMO

I do appreciate the slate of animated Disney/Pixar films that steer clear of romance - Encanto, Moana, Frozen (to a certain extent), Brave, Coco, I'm sure I'm forgetting some important ones. It's nice to not have it be all princes and princesses!

9 hours ago, Nix said:

Brilliant idea 😎 Sometimes in movies the romance is so toxic that I have to check in with my allo friends ‘Uhm, this is not ok, surely?’

Also regarding

  Reveal hidden contents

Maul still being alive, I knew that because I watched bits of the Clone Wars cartoon so I really hope he makes a return in Kenobi 🤞🏻

 

I will need to watch that animated series then! Apart from the original and prequel trilogies I really have watched much SW content. I tried episode 7, which was fun-ish, but lost me on episode 8. A friend gave me a summary of ep9 and I have no interest in watching that at all.

You know what, we should have a list of questionable romance movies and call it the 'Do You Suspect You Might Be Aromantic? Try These Movies & Find Out!" list 🤣

5 hours ago, 96Neko said:

Welcome i New Herr too but i hope you like it here like i Do

Thank you! I already feel pretty good about this place!

13 hours ago, Nix said:

You hit the nail on the head with this! I don’t mind romance in movies when it is well done and makes sense within the narrative, so they definitly should have spend more time on this one since it is so integral to the plot.

Oh yes, I loved that fight too! So when Dual of the Fates started playing in the Kenobi trailer is was instantly hyped.

Absolutely yes. Incredible music score. Dual of the Fates is spine-tingling stuff for me, I love it. Also I had no idea that

It's so difficult with romance in movies. There are some great ones that I can get onboard with, but then there are some that just come off as contrived hallmark nonsense. Brendan Fraser & Rachel Weiss in the Mummy? Epic. Beautiful. Wonderful. The Notebook? Toxic. Stop yelling. This can't be love. This can't be what you're encouraging me to 'give it a try' for?

I feel like every script writer should just run their romance story by a non-averse aro person. Just to check. 🤣

1 hour ago, lovelyleaf said:

I'd say they're not actually similar, they're just both centered around ballerinas, are very artistic, and dark thematically, so I see why they get compared but in my opinion they aren't really comparable. 

I'll check it out, ballet is usually a good movie theme

1 hour ago, Nix said:

I went to see ‘Flee’ last week with a friend, and it was just us and one other person in the theater. I was really impressed, did not like the art style at first but quickly realised it helped to focus on the story instead of the gruesome details. Just read in an article that it has been nominated for several oscars, so hopefully more people will watch it.

That is a really fun idea! I quite like the star wars movies, even though they are indeed not very good. I remember seeing the prequel movies when they first came out and finding the romance between Anakin and Padme really badly done. In hindsight it seems that was not just me being aro 😅

Flee is absolutely on my list. It's got so many nominations. It's hard for an animated doc to get so much attention so I'm looking forward to it.

The Anakin & Padme romance was so badly done, it was such a jaw-dropping problem. They specifically set out to make Anakin a whiny teenager and then were shocked when the audience didn't get why the Most Competent Woman in the galaxy fell for him. There was so much excess they could have cut of those films to make time for more character development.

I will say that I do remember watching the final fight scene in Ep 1 and I was on the edge of my seat. Ewan McGregor made a great Obi-Wan.

Thank so much1 We're all looking for a little peaceful island right?

In the Heat of the Night is a great classic, would definitely recommend that as one of those "everyone should watch at least once" movies.

On 3/13/2022 at 10:40 PM, lovelyleaf said:

Last night I watched Birds of Paradise. It was pretty good I'd say. I liked it. It was weird and kinda confusing at points and I'm unsure of what the point of the movie is but it's really pretty and I like the emotions.

I haven't seen this yet but I've seen some reviews comparing it (unfavourably) to Black Swan?

I did a rewatch of the Star Wars prequel trilogy recently (since the new Kenobi series is coming out soon). I remember when they came out they got so much hate, which was excessive, but they're not well-executed movies. Still very fun though, enjoyed the rewatch.

Hi all, happy to find this forum and sign myself up!

I did a bit of lurking around and it seems like a lot of people are on the discord - I don't know if that's the right place for me so for now I'll just be drifting around threads on here.

I'm a fan of dissecting film & tv, books (my genres are sci fi & fantasy. of course. are you surprised. look at my name), current events, and whatever niche community the youtube algorithm will drop me into without warning.

It's chaos out there, be kind.