Lex Barringer
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Status Replies posted by Lex Barringer
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Someone just gave me a like on OKC.
They describe themselves as asexual and only looking for a romantic relationship.
Maybe they are confused between aromantic and asexual. -
Someone just gave me a like on OKC.
They describe themselves as asexual and only looking for a romantic relationship.
Maybe they are confused between aromantic and asexual. -
I've noticed you stated your hetero greysexual. I was curious if it's more like hetero-demisexuality? Whereas you only have sexual attraction when you're great friends with a man and you have great chemistry. You obtain a squish, like a romance crush but only on a friendship level.
Having sexual attraction is just the mental / emotional side of the orientation but sexual arousal is the physical sensation and the reception of such, not necessarily will you act on the physical / biological urge.
Or do you have specific tweaks to the grey / demisexuality where you're a sapio, a person turned on by someone's intelligence and the way they present themselves in an intellectual manner with others, including yourself?
I mean, there is so many areas to look into and research, let alone articulate about ones own self and how you view people.
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That's exactly what aesthetic attraction does, you're really into their being or rather the unrealistic image you have in your mind that they are, when you see they don't match you give up.
Actually, this whole thing about aesthetic attraction isn't being shallow or fake, it's just not realizing and learning that the image you build someone up to be doesn't match reality. Lots of people who get into relationships who have this trouble don't realize the aesthetic attraction orientation isn't articulated yet and understand what makes you tick, what turns your crank, gets you excited and why it does that.
It works like this, your physically attracted to them but not necessarily their personality. When things settle down in the relationship and everything gets real, the real personality emerges, many people bolt when they run into this. Some people get anxious, scared or offended when people don't measure up to the great expectations.
Hey, I had to temper mine some twenty years ago. Sure, I have a yearning to be with women, just because I'm aro doesn't mean I don't want to be alone.
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I've noticed you stated your hetero greysexual. I was curious if it's more like hetero-demisexuality? Whereas you only have sexual attraction when you're great friends with a man and you have great chemistry. You obtain a squish, like a romance crush but only on a friendship level.
Having sexual attraction is just the mental / emotional side of the orientation but sexual arousal is the physical sensation and the reception of such, not necessarily will you act on the physical / biological urge.
Or do you have specific tweaks to the grey / demisexuality where you're a sapio, a person turned on by someone's intelligence and the way they present themselves in an intellectual manner with others, including yourself?
I mean, there is so many areas to look into and research, let alone articulate about ones own self and how you view people.
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Here's something interesting, many people don't really hit on, where as it's aesthetics, it's a mental and emotional process. I have an ultra-wide hetero aesthetic attraction (another orientation). Whereas I'm
highly attracted to women and love to talk to them, when in reality they think I'm hitting on them for some action and romance.
It took me a long time to realize this is what was going on with me. I enjoy the eye candy so to speak and being really friendly (some people think it's flirting but it's not). I thought I was having many crushes going on simultaneously but I figured out that wasn't it. It was the thought of being with them that is what appealed to me, not necessarily falling in love and having sex. I'm a very visual and tactile type of person.
It's a possibility that what you think is romance really isn't, it could be aesthetic attraction. It wasn't until I separated the difference between physical attraction and how I was interacting with people did I realize I wasn't allosexual. I figured out I was demisexual, then it dawned on me. I love being with women but I don't have any attraction to them in regards to romance, I then figured out I was aro after that.
Finding a good understanding partner for any type of relationship is hard enough to find but to accept you when the dust settles and everything has been laid out on the table is true love.
Now, I'm not finding fault here, that's not my intention. Just trying to figure out if you can further articulate who and what you are, I believe if you do so, you can then find a partner that is the same way you are. Being in a stable relationship, however you define it, is good for the both of you.
Another thing to look into psychological attachments, as I've said to other members. It's not a bad thing if they go one way or another, it's just what you are and how you understand relationships in general. If you know your attachments, you can work on normalizing them if they're way out of whack. Once those
are handled, if this is the problem, things happen naturally.
Often times people that supposedly fall in love with someone are falling in love with the idea of someone, the idealized state that
doesn't exist in reality. When you notice the discrepancy in the
real world, people tend to lose interest in a hurry. It's like the idea of
people hanging on a celebrity's every word, you think you love them, then they let you into their inner circle and realize what you thought you knew was just an illusion, you want out now.
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Does anyone else find it utterly hilarious that some people complain about the odd comment on a (debate) forum being 'too long', when they've probably read books that are 100 times longer and possibly more in depth? (If they even do read). I get a bit pissed off at people complaining when they're just being lazy and most of the time the offending comment isn't even directed at them.
Sometimes you do need more than a couple of paragraphs to really get your point across.
(This is on another forum and didn't actually happen to me, but I did call the lazy idiot out on it).
