BloodyBlood

ik im alloromantic probably but this is getting out of hand-

i cant even find difference btw romantic love and platonic love anymore or alterous one-

im dying here-

i feel like instead { hey hi u seems like kind person lets be friends! } im like { lets date ! we can be good bestie partners/any kind of partner etc}

whats going on with me .___.

is there any other allo that feel like this !?

3 minutes ago, DeltaV said:

Allos are so weird. If I just try to be nice to an opposite gender person they accuse me of flirting. I guess you have to be stoic or positively rude for that not to happen.

I like the idea of aro flirting, but only as an insider joke between two aros. Don’t pull allos into it, even if you tell them it’s just a joke they think it’s pretending.

as an allo i dont think all allos are like that- if someone tell me its joke then its mean its joke if someone says its compliment  then its just compliment , i dont think its good idea too pull all allos together tbh but i understand ur view , have lovely day =]

im nto aromantic or asexual but ima comment

idk how to exactly flirt but well i did it few times most time cause it was fun and like teasing, yep i like teasing people and my friends a bit Xp

hello everyone again i came with another question while the last post i did was about { ask my anything } lol now im here to ask u guys anything Xp

so well, first hope ur all doing well <3 

well i just discovered im alloromantic about week ago, where i finally felt strong romantic attraction for my girlfriend , it started when she start dating with another dude { me and her are in open relationship } and i felt mega jealous , i even cried a bit first day but idk if i had those feelings cause i was on my period or no

but after that i explained my feeling to her she broke up with the dude and then i broke up with her as well but its more like, i changed relationship from romantic relationship to something btw qpr-romantic relationship , something in middle like a qpr that has a bit romantic in it ,indeed i call her my girlfriend bestie = girlfriend + friend/bestie so like me and her are girlfriends as besties 

but well my feelings are so mild now and its something in btw of alterous attraction and romantic attraction, idk why

and the thing i used to be lithflux in past, like i liked someone but when they confessed back i felt like { bruh what dont } or i did not feel like i need it but well im not that anymore { lithflux cause me feeling could come and go in relationship }

the thing im struggling rn is, i feel like im crushing on everyone !? like, what is it even possible !? i like enter romantic relationship with everyone { as far as they not be toxic and i dont get negative feelings for them } i like doing lovey dovey stuff i dont mind dating them { i want somehow maybe idk lolollolol } i get jealous if they date someone o i not be the important person in their life? like- i have this for most of people the only thing that i have these for some people is so mild like i dont mind much or i experience those mild for some people its way stronger,

is it common/usual for alloromantic ?

and sorry for long to read, i deeply apologize, thx for readding and any advice is amazing

3 minutes ago, Cocothecoconut said:

Why was the question “Ask allo everything” then? I supposed you were allosexual, or is it just me who has mist understood? 

well im allosexual but allosexual can be virgin too :/ its about attraction , not all allosexual have experienced sex, for many reasons they might been scared to do it like me, or just dont need to do it, as i said its about attraction 

6 hours ago, _pc_ said:

OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

Okay, main one: literally what is a crush? What does it feel like? Do you actually think about them constantly? How do you know you have a crush? Like what happens when you walk past them in a hallway or something.

Do you get excited when someone says they like you, or do you get scared? (like lets say a friend told you they liked you, how would you feel?

And do you think you have to be in a romantic relationship before deciding if youre aro, or do you think you just know?

How do you know what romantic attraction is?

 

 

I AM SO SORRY THAT IS A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT LITERALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH. IVE ASKED MY FRIENDS SOME OF THIS BUT NEVER GOT A CLEAR ANSWER.

1- the attraction that lead to desiring romantic attraction, about butterflies and etc im not agree cause i might have them for alterous or squish too, but if i wanna be honest u might get more nervous and blush more and fantasy about crush /2-yes tbh sometimes yes ;w; sadly TvT /3-when i have strong desire to form romantic relationship with them thats how it tell me its crush/4-i would get a bit exited and i would talk to them but mostly fantasies happened like romantic and dating fantasies/5-in past i used to get somewhat scared cause i did not liked it but recently i see it as chance or not sure,but more i would say surprised!/6-i think its different from person to person , i would say u dont need to be in relationship to know if ur aro or no cause its about attraction

7-i have searched stuff up well, romantic attraction make me desire to want romantic relationship and romantic relationship its not just about lovey dovey stuff, its mostly like u dont want them to date someone else , thats the line for me

and its totally fine no need to apologize indeed im sorry i did not abled to give good answers i deeply apologize TmT and no me thx for amazing questions =] 

3 hours ago, Cocothecoconut said:

Something i’ve always been interested in asking allos about is:

1 How does it feel to have sex for the first time(it can be penetration sex, anal sex or oral sex)? 

2 As someone who’s never been in love before, have you ever felt in love with some of your classmates from when you went to school? If not have you ever felt in love with your coworkers? And how does it actually feel to be in love? 

well im allo but tbh 1- i have never had sex , im still 17-18 but i had sex rp like in chat , well i liked it when i was performing sexual acts on them but i disliked/felt uncomfortable when they performed sexual stuff on me :,]

2-no i still dont work and i have never been in love with classmate but about how does it feel like to be in love well, u feel emotional connection with them strongly u want to spend most time with them { not apply for me though X0 } u want talk to them mroe u want know them more u may or may not want to marry them { not apply to me much X0 cause my attraction is somehow fluid for people and it might even fade after hours O-0 } and u might blush and they make u smile everyday { if they dont be mean though X0 }

thats all i can say for now srry for bad answers have lovely day ! <3

33 minutes ago, Mark said:

How and when (in terms of age) did you discover you experienced romantic attraction?

How would you react to someone who was only sexually (or only romantically) attracted to you? Assuming you were both romantically and sexually attracted to them.

Do you tend to dump your friends if you get into a romantic relationship?

What do you feel about marriage?

 

1- my first crush was fictional character so i skip the age i was, but about person , well they first confessed to me and months later i suddenly felt romantic attraction to them,soo i guess last year, when i was near 17

2-when i usually feel and somehow find out when someone have feelings for me {about romantic one though } and when i have feelings for them well, its somehow turn off for me X0 

3-no, good friends and good romantic partners both equally loved by me, i wont dump anyone 

4-well, i feel like its pretty and cute in aesthetic way but the whole life after that its meh-

anyway thx for questions have lovely day ^^

hey kai! its late to say but welcome here ^^ <3 

On 7/31/2021 at 4:25 AM, alto said:

This question actually has a very simple answer.

It's about what you want out of the relationship.  You want a romantic relationship?  Crush.  You want to be besties or permanent roommates?  Squish.

Other than that, it is basically the same feeling.

rip i have both feeling for my partner Q-Q

3 hours ago, Pyr said:

I've got a few:
- When did you start feeling romantic attraction?
- Do you think that there are different "shades" of romantic attraction? Different levels or types of it?
- Do queerplatonic relationships sound appealing to you as an allo?

Thank you! Hope none of these are too personal haha

1-first toward fictional character months ago but for person bout last year

2-yes i think there are different shades of romantic attraction, definitely different lvls and types, mild crush wich is not strong much , crush but it usually dont last long and feeling love wich happened after time 

3-yes rn i changed my relationship with my girlfriend to qpr { i still call her girlfriend but just as friend X0 }

me thx for amazing and nice questions! and they all were good questions no worry X0 , have lovely day!

Just now, Jackson_Glass said:

honestly it helped me understand so thankyou :D 

aww glad it helped even if it helped just a bit, me thx indeed have lovely day ^^

1 minute ago, Jackson_Glass said:

is romance as good as people say it is? also does it affect your life differently? 

well im not agree about that crushing is good, loving good as far as its healthy , and i belive that everything effect our life, and about affecting ur life differently, well for some people maybe 

sorry did not know what to say anymore :,] have lovely day thx for question ^^

1 minute ago, queer kaleidoscope said:

Thank you, that did help! :)

np me thx ^^ glad it helped =]

3 minutes ago, queer kaleidoscope said:

How do you differentiate romantic attraction from other feelings of attraction, such as platonic or aesthetic attraction? How does romantic attraction feel? (like... is it the stereotypical thing in movies where you get the fast heartbeat, blushing, thinking about them all the time, etc.) 

the biggest line i find out if its romantic or no its just how my desire is strong to date them in romantic way expect that my squish and alterous and mild romantic are all same ,

romantic attraction, its different for different people generally different from person to person and stuff in movies, it can apply to some alloromantic people but not all, i blush, i think about my crush most time but thats not what make me think the attraction is romantic or etc

for me strong desire to be in romantic relationship and wanting them to be mine { though wanting someone to be mine its selfish but i have this for most of my friends too}

so the line as i said is where appear from other attraction where i desire romantic attraction, and wanting something is different from just being open

thats all i can say for now hope it helped a bit,

have lovely day ^^

3 minutes ago, crow said:

How often do you feel romantic attraction? How intense is it?

i can say sometimes everyday but its mild but the strong crushes that i call them falling on love take months for me to happened other crushes as i sad are just so mild, thx for question and have lovely day ^^

6 minutes ago, Arsenic said:

And what do you understand for "romantic"? I mean, when you feel romantic attraction you actually want to do the cliche thinks we see in movies? Flowers, chocolate, kisses under the rain and long walks at beach at sunset? Do people ACTUALLY want that?

well i cant really tell by cliche stuff cause im open to do those stuff with anyone friend or partner so i cant tell by those stuff ^^ and yes some people actually want do those stuff and i dont see any problem with it?

8 minutes ago, Arsenic said:

How do you difference between romantic attraction and wanting emotional closeness with someone?

And, another thing, if you are allo how did you end up in this server? It's just curiosity

well for emotional closeness u dont see need to be in romantic relationship, u just want emotional closeness aka alterous attraction , for romantic attraction u strongly desire romantic relationship thats where line appear , in this server well i used to be aromantic and then aro spectrum ^^"

10 hours ago, DeltaV said:

Why do you give in to romantic attraction? Why don’t you resist it?

Does it ever happen that you resist it, or is this impossible??

its impossible to resist it tbh, thats why at least for me

2 hours ago, Arsenic said:

WHAT THE HELL, WHY, WHY DID I GROW UP WITHOUT KNOWING THIS. I AM SORRY BUT WHAT THE FUCK ALLOSEXUALS.

 

its fine its not like im proud of being allo...

16 hours ago, alto said:

What is sexual attraction like?

well , when somene sees someone and they might or might not get arousal , they might think { oh they are hot }  they might have sexual fantasies and they might be curious how that person genitals look like { though whenever i saw one i feel repulsed/indifferent / mild attraction } and in the end they might desire sexual activity or the actual sex, thats all ^^ hope it helped <3 srry for late reply

15 hours ago, Arsenic said:

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE TOPIC WE ALWAYS NEEDED.

Okay. Okay. What the hell is romantic attraction and how do you know if you feel it?

haha i see well, romantic attraction google says :omantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons. 

but well the way ik i feel that or no there is some few ways : i want them to be belong to m and i belong to them, i want be most important person in their life and i might desire romantic relationship , expect that anything i feel are same for any other attraction i have i might feel to kiss and do romantic stuff with friend to so that was the line, i desire romantic relationship and i get jealous a lot if they date someone else but for friend i might not get jealous a lot and im just open about romantic relationship , thats all srry for late reply have lovely day ^^

11 hours ago, DeltaV said:

A very important question, that I was always too afraid to ask:

  Hide contents

Romo………… WHY???? WHY ROMO?

I mean, I know…. BUT WHYYY???

 

srry i dont understand this one may u explain a bit sorry TvT

hi im Alloromantic { probably } and allosexual{ probably } u can ask me anything ^^ have lovely day <3

for me ,there is not strong difference btw friendship and romantic relationship, sometimes i just random crush on someone and it fade after short time or if i dont see them for while it may fade, sometimes its like { no this person mine >:[ } i might feel this for everyone but for some people way stronger and for some friends milder , but it still exist for all people i have positive feelings toward, thats why im so confused ;w; anyway any advice is great and i appreciate it + the answer of question { What is difference btw Alterous Attraction,Mild crush,Squish,Strong crush and just loving someone ? } have lovely day yall thx for readding ^w^ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ >w< { im confused with what label should i chose as well, should i just pick up alloromantic ? }

16 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I think the difference is the frequency of attraction. An alloflux person would feel allo (sexual or romantic as it doesn't specified) most of the time, but will have shorter periods when they feel a-spec. An aroflux would feel aro most of the times, but will have shorter periodes when they feel romantic attraction. At least that's what I get from the definition.

 

Now I don't know what is tour label, @BloodyBlood . It seems like there are a lot of factor to your attraction, so maybe you won't find one label that can covers everything, but can used multiple ones? I don't know.

i think so then in the case ig i identify with alloflux since must time i feel allo romantic but still some times, feel aro spectrum - and thx for explain it helped me a lot :D

its totally fine ^^

1 hour ago, Quinn_ said:

I wish I had some advice but I don't! I'm so sorry T^T

okay thx for help ^^

30 minutes ago, Gabriel14 said:

I mean feelings and identity are fluid, so its totally normal to change like that. Idk what alloflux is or why it would be different from aroflux, they seem like the same thing? But aroflux is more descriptive because alloflux could be alloromantic or allosexual. There're a few identities like recipromantic and fictormantic, I can't give definitions rn because I'm in class but maybe look those up? But like the labels you identify with might change 800 times because orientation is fluid and all labels try to do is fit indescribable feelings into common boxes (nothing agaisnt labels, I love 'em, these are just observations)

Also to me at least your soft romo relationship just sounds like a healthy one with maybe some polyamorous feellings mixed in? 

I wish you luck!!!

hey everyone! i remember till i was 16.5 i was aro ace, then i think after some people confessed me after that i developed crush on them but before that i only had crush on fictional characters, even though im saying i developed crush on them idk if it was alterous attraction or idk what- other time i remember i think i was lith flux but idk what i am anymore, my feelings for people so fluid, sometimes its strong crush sometimes its mild crush sometimes its alterous attraction like im just open and sometimes its squish... i mean... someone suggested i may be alloflux but then does it mean im not aroflux and not on arospectrum or? im probably not arospectrum or if im maybe im softo romo/aroflux or if not then alloflux, i wanted ask whats ur idea and whats ur opinion about alloflux? also im in soft romo relationship but the fun fact, i enjoy it and i think she is good partner but i dont mind if she get other partner, i wont jealous , i dont think about her obsessive, though just sometimes also sometimes when i crush one someone if i dont see them my crush go away as well/not always.. any advice? also i deeply apologize for very long question and explain T^T

i saw something one reddit called alloflux, 

here what the person explained it :

{Alloflux just means that there are fluctuations in ones allo attraction. So you can fluctuate sexually in an allo sense while still being aro or vise versa (fluctuating romantically and still be ace, or just over all fluctuate both romantically and sexually).So like for example: If someone were alloflux in their sexuality, it would mean that they would feel allosexual at most times, but then there would be times when they identified more with asexual.}

so whats ur idea? if someone is alloflux romantic , are they count on aro spectrum or no they not? i would be happy to hear ur opinions and advice.