BloodyBlood

ok so hi hope ur doing if not i wish u luck and get better <3

so im again questioning if im on aro spectrum and if no, what are my feelings called

ok so, this is list of things im feeling for my soft romo partner rn and ik its kinda crush/romantic feelings ?..

1-i somehow desire romantic or soft romo relationship with her i dont mind much qpr as far as she love me most not necessary in romantic or platonic bust just love me

2-i get jealous when she pay more attention to her other partners or friends [ this is not only for her but i feel this for all of my friends and partners cause im jealous person in general ]

3- i enjoy romantic stuff with her , but i enjoy it with all people ?

4-im open for romantic marriage with her but i dont like marriage and its kinda feel me uncomfortable and thinking she want marry me make me kinda, or extremely uncomfortable but happy at same time ? cause i like people crush on me even boys ?! [ i dont crush back on boys though ]

5-i want her to be mine, but i feel same for all people around me somehow

ok its quite sound like romantic ig but i want ur opinions and what labels should i use,

thx for readding and taking ur time have lovely day <3

So there is my friend , i really wanna be her fav friend i dont mind romantic relationship but i like qpr too, also i wanna say she mine she mine but i have these feelins to all my friends and etc , like this thing ( a thing like pen ) is mine this friend mine my mom is mine my lartner is mine everything mine and i cant find it romantic, so am i crushing ?!

yo everyone hope tall doing better than me at least X,0

so ik some of u guys probably have read my old comments and posts but

i was wondering, can i just identify as lithflux and aroflux ?

like i mostly relate to both of this but not completely and idk if im alloromantic or idk what

but i so badly wanna identify with those labels

what should i do?

any advice is amazing <3 

soo for while i felt like identify as aroflux or alloromantic , still not sure to wich one really fits me most

so there is this girl, she is rn my girl friend bestie { both bestie and girl friend at time but lean to qpr mostly }

so she confessed to me 2-3 month ago, or 3-4 month dont know exactly XD

so i did not have feelings for her or if it was it was sooo mild crush/friendship idk what it was tbh XD

but one day she asked me if can she get another partner to and i said its okay but for few weeks i was so jealous and i cried, but ye cause i scared i lose her and she break up with me { that time we was in romantic relationship }

but now they are girl and boy friend and im happy for them and i enjoy seeing them doing lovey dovey stuff but if they dont pay attention to me i get jelly for sure , its like if two friend talk together and ignore me i feel jelly as well, i hate to feel ignored tbh :,I/ =,=

{ im jealous person in general for friend partner parents for anything and anyone u can think XD }

but now i have all romantic signs, blushing and a bit heart beat , thinking most time about them, loving them a lot wanting doing lovey dovey stuff and all but i dont need to see they see me as gf or friend, i want them to love me most not necessary romantic or no { well im romance favorable and i can enjoy it with anyone } i dont get jealous if they get another partner to if it make them happy im happy too ,

but i really wanna more emotional closeness , i want them to love me more , i also love idea of qpr and i will love them if they see me as bestie too { i value friendship a lot equal as romantic relationship but it honestly depend on person }

i like doing lovey dovey stuff as anyone { our relationship always been lovey dovey and i think it work this way better for us but }

soo uh

idk is it necessary romantic attraction cant i go with alterou attraction, by any way :,[ ?

like when ever i feel crush or alterous attraction or any other attraction  its only to two gender 

2 minutes ago, Luc said:

Abrormantic?

eh not really cause its always bi orientation

On 4/17/2016 at 10:40 PM, Sentient Android said:

Hey guys,

I found this identity on Tumblr called "aroflux", which pretty much describes my arospec orientation!

It's when "the degree of one’s aromanticism fluctuates over a period of time". Like, I've got this "crush" and sometimes I want to kiss them and do romantic stuff with them, and sometimes I'm just like, "yuck, no way".

Uh... just felt like sharing that!  Does anyone else feel like this?

well tbh idk if im aroflux or alloromantic but thats how i feel most time duh! 

but the thing i feel more close to aroflux instead alloromantic or idk- its so confusing 

uh man i easily can get obsessed over someone or something idk if its cause my ocd or no X_X

26 minutes ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

Do you think it sounds more like romantic or alterous attraction to feel like falling into a soft cloud of happiness whenever you talk with them, even if they are having a bad day and are just saying mundane things, the important thing is they are saying them to you, along with the desire to no longer explore intimacy with other people even when it is offered and normally you would be cool with it? also spending lots of time thinking about what to say or what they said and thinking about possible future moments... 

I may have answered my own question but I just would like some outside input. 

i would say if its about emotional closeness its alteruos attraction now it can sound romantic or no, its about emotional closeness 

15 minutes ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

The  drop in feelings could possibly have something to do with newness and excitement dwindling with familiarity? as for the repulsion part, well could that have to do with expectations you are uncomfortable with?

Basically I'm really not sure, Sorry! but it is always good to look beyond the relationship between you and look at the bigger network of influences and powers in society, culture and social circle.

eh not really, sometimes its trong sometimes its mild sometimes its not even crush tbh, and alright thx for advice ^^ though i did not understand well since my main language is not english...

sooo i remember first i used to be aromantic then i changed to demi aromantic then lithromantic and then lithflux and then ... alloromantic for really long time so i thought i changed to alloromantic but last day i did not experienced any crush { ik alloromantic can dont experience crush for long time too }

but the thing was , there is this girl , my girlfriend { we changed it to something btw qpr and romantic relationship like girlfriends besties } i always crushed on her { like after she confessed to me, 2-3 month later i experienced crush on her } but yesterday i just felt 5-10 percent crush on her like i always crush on her strongly but yesterday, was idk and when i asked her how much she like me etc i heard the answer i wanted she see me as gf/crush but i felt , repulsed !? like, what? i feel obsessed to her and feel alterous attraction but i dont know if i feel romantic attraction toward her anymore or no

also what attraction is it when u know u like someone way more than just friend or qp partner, but not necessary romantic partner ?

alright thx for readding i appreciate any answer <3

On 3/14/2022 at 4:09 AM, TheCloudyEnd said:

When you have a new romantic partner, do they feel more important to you than your friends?

What does it feel like to be in love?

Is it possible for it to feel like unhealthy attachment? Because I had a friend I had unhealthy attachment to, and I thought that's what being in love was, but now I think that wasn't love. So I'm trying to understand if I have been in love or not.

What does it feel like to have a crush? How do you know you have a crush?

hi there! im gonna try my best to answer to questions <3

so 1-its depend on person that is romantic partner , i cant say just any romantic partner is more important than friend, its really depend on person, so being romantic partner or no does not matter much 

2- it feel like u would try ur best to cheer them up, u love them, u want them { in any relationship doe not matter much } u want be with them, u enjoy their company , and etc

3-yes for sure it can feel unhealthy , sometimes its not real love but it can be obsession, idk at least for me 

4-it feel like a bit obsession , and u desire romantic relationship with them , idk what to say anymore tbh cause last time i felt crush was 2 day ago and i cant remember how it exactly feel like srry X,0

thats all, hope it helped even a bit, thx for comment and have lovely day! <3

9 minutes ago, Arsenic said:

Okay, one thing. People say that when you feel romantic attraction for someone then you think about them constantly. My question is, what do you think exactly? I mean, how do you have that much of thoughts? How do you have so much things to think about an specific person?  How is it that you don't run out of things to think about? I never understood that.

that how much they are pretty, kind or just so called romantic fantasies, planning on what to talk with them and etc, tbh i recently dont think about them constantly so idk but in general its more fantasies about future, { far or close } and similar 

i forgot to say i have OCD so i think about one thing many time like repeating thinking about it, so it can be different from person to person 

hi everyone ik some of u probably have seen my past comment , ik i might be alloromantic and ik its normal for alloromantic to dont feel romantic attraction for period of times but i just dont feel comfortable to be identify as alloromantic, i feel like aroflux since there was time i used to be aromantic then lithromantic then litflux then recipe romantic , then now but the thing most time my crushes lasts for 1-2 day at maximum or if i dont interact with them it goes away untill i see them again or interact with them though there are expections but for my expections the attraction fluid btw alterous and romantic attraction, should i stick to label alloromantic or..?

ah man- well u need to explain stuff and explain how u feel uncomfortable cause expect that i doubt he stop talking about those stuff-

i would say alterous attraction =3

On 2/25/2022 at 2:57 AM, bat said:

Even alloromantic people can have trouble figuring out what romantic attraction is and/or what makes it different from other forms of attraction, it's not just an aro thing. So it's completely valid and probably not that uncommon. It sounds like you're quite worried, I know it's not that easy but I wouldn't worry about it too much because it really doesn't matter, attraction can mean different things for different people and it can take time to figure out what it means to you.

mhm alright thx u so much for explaining, ur quite right but the thing is im struggling about it around 2 yrs ;w; and im feelings so fluid or its just for everyone- idk what to say...

i asked my qpr/friend that how do u know difference btw friendship and romantic attraction, this is what he said { friendship is the trust gained on someone that you frequently want to be around. love is when you’re really close to them relationship-wise } i dont understand it- what if i want relationship with every single person - im getting really confused- i asked them if they have even felt like u feel like u cant find ut difference btw friendship and romantic relationship they said yes but what they explained did not sound like it at all-

idk what to do anymore its like- idk if its cause i cant accept my alloromantic part of myself or its really that i cant find out difference btw crush and squish or alterous attraction much-

society norms just make everything more hard to understand, kissing only coded for romantic relationship or calling someone love- i cant understand this even a 1 percent-

if u feel jealous they are close with someone else it coded romantic relationship then lets say this i have this feeling toward everyone around me then im crushing on every single person around myself? does it even make sense-

if u get obsessive with someone people count it as crush - then someone like me who suffer from OCD how gonna find it out-

being nervous- huh well im all time nervous

if this is what alloromantic feels like i have to say its sucks { no offence to anyone }

idk what to say-

just help ,_,

1 hour ago, DeltaV said:

Wouldn’t have guessed there was anyone in Iran who knows obscure micro-labels like “soft-romo”.

I like the Iranian domes, they’re nice…

aww well, im complaining about government- who that ruined whole country and mess with people in country sadly...

situation here is hell :]

and well im  somehow into micro labels specially cause of my OCD wich make me get obsessive over anything ...

and extra question should i just go with alloromantic identify ?

well im nto aromantic or aro spectrum anymore probably but i can say when i was aromantic the thing i loved was being part of aro community with amazing kind people in it and not struggling with experiencing crush and other romantic stuff- thats what i really loved and love =]

Im from Islamic Republic of Iran, for Short Iran, a country u can get jailed for being lgbtq  or if u do same sex as male u can get X-x , though transgender people , aromantic and asexual people in my country way safer 

also u have do to Hijab and if u dont u get in trouble

u should belive in god or u get in trouble

anything u do u get in trouble

such nice country nah great for going insane X0

On 1/26/2022 at 12:34 AM, Aya said:

I'm from Malaysia, a country where you can be jailed for being LGBT+ or killed for being an Atheist. Don't think I could be jailed for being Aromantic though, but I could be jailed(maybe killed) for being an atheist. ?

rip its same here tbh-

6 minutes ago, roboticanary said:

Not sure how helpful this will be to you but this is something I have been reading about recently and might be of use to you.

The way you are approaching romance, and to be honest the way I learnt about it and probably the most common way to hear about the idea whne looking up aromanticism, goes something like this. There are distinct forms of 'attraction', sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic etc. You then go through and see which of those you 'experience'. no romantic -> aromantic. no platonic -> aplatonic. etc.

This seems to be the way you are going and you are getting into a whole mess trying to split up these feelings into neat little boxes of love. 

This is not the only way to think of things.

I would recommend having a look at this blog post called 'Confessions of a Former SAM Aro' if you want a better idea than I can explain at the moment. https://nothingradical.blog/2021/09/16/confessions-of-a-former-sam-aro/

But at the very least, understand that you don't have to do this. And if splitting how you feel into these forms of attraction seems to be giving you more confusion rather than helping you understand yourself then maybe it will help to find a different way of thinking about these things.

No idea if that helps, but hopefully it is something to think about.

well ye im really getting confused how to split things up and the blog post u sent its filter for me sorry TuT 

and yes it really helped thx for help and advice i really appreciate it =] i was just wondering if any other alloromantic in this forum can relate to me but still not any allo commented here TvT

thx again have lovely day =] 

4 hours ago, Aya said:

To be honest, I think the "standard" person would feel romantic love as a sort of "obsession" + "wanting an intimate partnership" + "happy nervousness". Don't think too hard about the definitions because it differs by culture and is very confusing. But I use this as a sort of guideline.  Platonic is often more chill and less intense and there is less pressure on long-term relations. I hope this helps. :)

tbh im somehow suffering from ocd so idk what to do about obsession part ;] im always happy nervous i usually get easily nervous and well- i think i will never find out how to find out but thx u so much for explaining it helped ^w^ <3 have lovely day