Hi! My experience has been very similar to you in that I had a boyfriend for some months that I - while figuring out I was aro - had no romantic or sexual attraction to even though I thought that was the case when I was dating him. Incidently, that period of my life was also filled with anxiety and just like you I had full on anxiety attacks in the beginning of the relationship, but it got a little bit better as it went along. At least for me, I always have never really fully understand the difference in dating someone and just being good friends. So I just went along with it and confused my sensual attraction to him as romantic. Also, you might be feeling different types of attraction, like aesthetic and platonic, towards other people and there is nothing wrong with that. When I see other people (especially girls) that dress similar to me in style (goth and alternative) I am like drawn to them and I want to get to know them and such. You might also wanna look into Queerplatonic relationship and see if that is something that interests you :) I know it does for me atleast. ?