Karst

Don't worry too much about finding a *precise* microlabel for your identity.  Many of them overlap, anyway.

When I'm around people who aren't likely to want or accept a full explanation of my orientation, I usually just tell them that I'm focusing on my studies/career and don't really have time to date.  Maybe it's not ideal, but it saves me from an awkward conversation.

Personal style doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sexuality.  Worst case scenario, you might get mistaken for a lesbian, but no one's going to call you out for Appropriation.  Anyway, queer fashion isn't neatly divided up by orientation and gender.

There are some episodes of Doctor Who that still give me the creeps.  Also, this isn't a movie, but my dad got the idea at one point to read me some Edward Gorey before bed, which terrified me for years.

On the other hand, The Dark Crystal (which seems to be a pretty common childhood fear) left me totally unfazed.

I have one younger brother, who's bi.

A number of the romances in Deep Space 9 felt like they were written in just to persuade the viewers that various characters weren't gay.  The 90s were a different time...

(On a related note, I think that Dr. Bashir has the most powerful Bi Vibes I have ever seen in a TV character.)

I can feel pain in my dreams- last night I had an unpleasant one about moths that landed on people's hands and sucked their blood like mosquitoes.  It felt like being stabbed with needles.

I mainly just use "non-binary" to describe myself, but I'll get more specific in queer spaces.  I'm agender (AFAB), and my gender presentation leans more towards the masculine side.  I'm not terribly attached to any particular gender label, to be honest.  I just know that I'm not a man or a woman.

Side note: Bi people get hit with a lot of the same BS from inside the queer community. 

Some people just don't seem to get that you can pass as straight (or cisgender), but still have to deal with issues due to lack of understanding and acceptance of your sexuality/gender.

We shouldn't reduce the queer community to a contest of "who's the most oppressed".  Everyone has unique struggles in life, and just because someone else is in a worse situation doesn't make your problems less real.

Currently, my main gaming group is an adventure that my brother is running.  Even if I weren't aro, having my character romance an NPC played by a family member would be incredibly weird.

Here's some AVEN threads that might help:

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/137200-helpful-info-for-those-questioning-their-asexuality/

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/69810-what-is-sexual-attraction/

I took a close opposite-gender friend to a formal dance once- neither of us had a romantic partner to go with.  To be honest, I think part of me just wanted to wear matching flowers with someone.

On 5/11/2021 at 2:34 AM, nonmerci said:

To keep it simple it is used by aros who don't differentiate their romantic and sexual attraction, or aros who think sexual attraction is not relevant to their identity.

I personnaly don't use the term but I see why some people do. I never really cared that much about my ace side. I don't feel the need to talk about it, to search about it, I don't have the feeling that it affects me that much. On the other hand, aromanticism affects my life in a lot of ways.

So it makes sense to me that some people just don't label their sexuality, if they feel it is not that important for them.

I feel pretty much the same way- not having a partner tends to be more immediately visible to to others than not having sex.  That said, I still see being ace as an integral part of my identity.  Maybe it's not the cornerstone of who I am, but it's still there.

You don't have to answer this question if you think it's too personal, but how do orientations... work?... for people who are plural?  Do they have to be a matching set, so to speak?

There's a variety of sub-labels in the NB category.  Take a look at some and see if anything stands out to you.

Honestly, I enjoy being in spaces that have people of a variety of queer-umbrella identities.  It gives me a sense of perspective on other people's struggles.

One of the earliest sci-fi works to really explore gender identity was Ursula Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness.  It's about a cisgender man from Earth struggling to function as an envoy to a planet where the locals never really got into the whole "gender binary" concept.

I found out about this site on AVEN, and I'm excited to meet other aros!