vinniebandit

squeal

Quite true ? with/without mayo

TPBM knows a sure-fire remedy to hiccup

A lot of questions... I would suggest that you focus first on what you CAN control, this being what YOU want

Solve yourself first or you won't be in any position to be comfortable with your positioning

Gnothi seauton, nosce te ipsum...

For all francophones: next week, a series of 4 docs on the topic of "Vivre sans sexualité" (Living without sexuality" on France Culture in the "La Série Documentaire"

https://www.franceculture.fr/emissions/series/survivre-sans-sexe

1hour each. On air from Monday 12 to Thursday 15, or podcast later each day.

Not aromanticism yet, but a lot of us here are in the ace loop!

It's foolish to project your expectations onto any object over which you have no control. Same pattern goes for fantasies.

If you really care, you need to express yourself - clearly.

Should the reply be a no, there is nothing you can do but accept it. Consent is paramount.

Biochemistry of course + learning processes. All the natural variations + environmental stresses and pressures. Reproductive urges/necesity + cultural/civilisational attitudes...

It's so simple...?

Some US/UK shows have english subs that tweak the original speech - probably in part due to the length of the subs and time needed to read them before the next sentence.

Youtube auto subs are the worst for that.

I think I catch some of your meaning - I'm not a strong believer in belonging in a "community".  That's outside my cultural upbringing and - hence ? - tastes and preferences. Nonetheless, I'm all for solidarity or banding together to attain a common purpose, but I really like to do things my own personal way.

I certainly don't expect validation from others whom I don't know personally, but I may value their input for better understanding and positioning myself.

Aren't we veering off topic?

Everything would be much simpler if humans still had functional pheromones receptors... inconclusive research but something to look if you want to go down that rabbit hole.

I think that attraction implies a pull and not a push.

4 hours ago, Lovebird said:

Romantic culture doesn't always make sense to me. Maybe it's just me but my ideas of dating are different compared to most people, I'm not a fan of fancy stuff people do on dates and such, I prefer some quiet time with my partner or space to myself. But I also feel like I don't fit within aromantic culture, but that's another story   

Just a couple of thoughts. I would venture that most (if not all) aros (by any description) are rather self-sufficient (I'm trying to find the right nuance here from my original French, translation is always chancy), so your idea of "best having a quiet time" would be within the spectrum of what's expectable.

Aromantic culture: does such a thing really exist? even as a sub-culture? Honestly I have no idea but then again I haven't been paying attention to that for long enough (or have been involved in too much of a quiet time ?

Hi.

6 hours ago, I.B. said:

On the other hand, I'm definitely allosexual (honestly on the edge of hypersexual), although I also have some complicated thoughts about that as well.

No doubt your choice of academic studies will help you try to sort out your questioning?

Hi. This is a good place indeed with helpful people.

An absence so plainly displayed

Can't be helped but be remarked upon

Saturday morning before lunch sounds good

Hi. You're all young! ;) Just listened to the Sounds fake but okay podcast featuring Barefoot Backpacker and he's still younger than me!

Better late than never, right?

Oh thank you so much - exactly what I mean and experience sometimes (rarely, though) with people - I'll keep to myself the kind of sentiment that this gives me but this is definitely my spot ?

On 3/12/2021 at 6:55 PM, nonmerci said:

In French it is kinda the same as it is aromantique and asexuel.

But I like that we have a distinction between asexuel (no sexual atteaction) and asexué (not having sexual organs). Though some people still confuses the two, it is less confusing than in English where asexual have both meaning.

Plus the added difficulty of "la sexualité" and "l'asexualité" sounding absolutely the same...

"Non-sexualité" probably imply something different.

Not out but still not sure if it would make a difference to the people I care for. I've been "withdrawn" from the sentimental matters so long that my absence of relationship with any kind of person for so long that they must know something. Even though the concept of aro isn't widespread in all circles... I suppose, knowing me as they do, their answer would be "oh well, alright, whatever makes you happy"

Hey everyone. I just arrived here and decided to join after a bit of exploration of the various topics.

I'm a 54 yo male, divorced now 15 years, most certainly somewhere firmly on the ace spectrum, and I've been wondering if I haven't been aro ALL MY LIFE for starters.

What makes me wonder is the amount of influence that my upbringing/family attitudes had on my (?) behaviour (?) regarding relationships. It is quite possible that never or very seldom having seen family members would have had an imprint (not being able to replicate the kind of gestures/attitudes that romanticism implies). I'm completely discounting whatever TV or movies showed as I knew it to be fake, and an important point in my (even very early) education was to focus on acquiring knowledge, reasoning and reality.

So when it came to try to blend into the stereotypical behaviours of adolescence of dating, I was an absolute blank and a disaster. I tried to replicate a couple of times but I readily found that this was more a waste of my time than anything.

My valuable time could be invested better in reading, music, a bit of sport.

Not that I reaaaally wanted intimacy so bad, even then, because I would have kept on trying chasing in that case. But no. I believe that I thought at that time 'oh well, if someone wants me, I'll make my mind on the spot'. And that did happen a couple of times, and I certainly did not initiate willingly.

And these relationship never lasted very long, because I mostly seem aloof if not cold, and I like an intellectual challenge more than anything else. For me, what is the point of getting close to someone just for lust? That's the aro here. My marriage lasted legally for 10 years but in actuality was much shorter than that (and I married at 29...)

So could it be that I am something like "sapioromantic"?

Anyone offering suggestions, you're welcome ?