Constanze

I am aromantic, I don't really like children, I have almost no mother instincts and am just my best self on my own. I think that means I'm more than ready to be a vodka aunt, just with science and books. Actually, I'll take the alcohol too. 

Today I had the sudden urge to learn about physics so despite having a ton of other things I technically should prioritize, I started studying it and it was quite interesting. And I mean, better than not learning anything at all. 

The snow keeps piling up, I hope it will stay for a few days. The lake nearby even froze over, we enjoyed a refreshing walk through the winter atmosphere. I sure missed this kind of winter.

Today I wanted to mention a dear childhood memory to a friend. She excitedly thought I was going to tell her that I have a boyfriend. I have to smile thinking about it now. No.

Today I watched some videos about how some asexuals view themselves. I've never done that before and it was interesting, but I didn't really find myself there. Maybe that's a good thing though, that I have enough introspection to know what I feel and want differs from that slightly. 

I feel some excess energy in my body, so I will probably stay up tonight and hunt for knowledge to suck up. I'll have to prepare a large coffee early so it's nice and ice cold when I actually get to it. 

Executive Disfunction is hitting me hard, I'm hoping to be able to hype myself into productivity by tomorrow. Which is pretty ironic. 

I am relatively sure that I can't feel romantic 'love', but I am annoyed that I am still sometimes attracted to people or find their personalities attractive. It makes me feel like an impostor even if I'm not contradicting myself at all. 

Somehow I managed to do 70% of what I've been pushing back for months on end within less than a day. What the hell, am I not actually a lost case? Is this it? Am I going to stop procrastinating now that I've recognized my own true genius? nah lmao