Elin W
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Posts posted by Elin W
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I’m having what I now realise is “aro moments” when I sit listening to my friends talking and talking about how hard it is to be in love - both when their love interest is also feeling the same for them, or not.
and I’m sitting there thinking “If it’s so difficult and frustrating - then why do it?” :P
?
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On 4/21/2021 at 9:55 PM, DogObsessedLianne said:
Does anyone have any preference for topic for May's meet? I was thinking about choosing a story or two or more from https://aroworlds.files.wordpress.com/2020/11/bones-of-green-and-hearts-of-gold-k.-a.-cook.pdf
(thanks to whoever put it on the google doc). I looked at the Aze journal but it seems much more asexuality based (though I do like much of the art work).
What do people think? I'll have a closer look at the Aro Worlds pdf over the weekend (I'm busy tomorrow) to see how long the stories are. Or would people like a month or there's about from now to read them all and then meet to discuss? Unless anyone is desperate for another topic? 4 weeks will be weekend of 22nd/23rd May.
It sounds like a wonderful idea! Thanks for the ebook :)
im really going to try and be with you this time. Life has been very crazy lately, so I’ve been to busy, but looking forward to it :)
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Hi! I’ve been away from this forum for a while but excited to take part in the video chats again :) the dates seem good but if it’s on Sunday I won’t be able to participate cause I’m working that time :)
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On 12/23/2020 at 6:51 PM, DogObsessedLianne said:
@Elin WIt is January 10th and on Google Meet.
I've just searched "time in Sweden" and it looks like you are an hour ahead of the UK, so it should be 8PM.
Hopefully see you then :-)
Looking forward to tomorrow :) This is maybe a silly question but do I need an app to use google meet? Is there a link, or how does it work? This year has meant a lot of video meetings but this app is still new to me x)
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38 minutes ago, MindBeam said:
Not being a golfer I also think I know what I mean. Well, actually I do - but I wonder whether any golfers do? ?
I’ve never understood that sport but there are a lot of sports that I don’t understand ?
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4 minutes ago, MindBeam said:
Hello! ?
In my experience, trying to figure yourself out in terms of what society at large constantly implies you should be feeling/doing is a bit like trying to figure out what your golf handicap is if you don't play golf and have no desire to do so! ? Still, there's always the clubhouse bar - I mean the 19th hole... ??
Not being a sport person I have no clue about golf but I think I know what you mean! ??
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On 12/15/2020 at 6:05 PM, CharCharChar said:
Yay discord! (And yay Arocalypse being back!)
Is there a aro discord chat? (Me: total newbie ) ☺️
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6 minutes ago, DogObsessedLianne said:
@Elin WIt is January 10th and on Google Meet.
I've just searched "time in Sweden" and it looks like you are an hour ahead of the UK, so it should be 8PM.
Hopefully see you then :-)
Yeah that’s right ! ? Yeah see you then.
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I was recommended to this by Erederyn and I definitely would like to join!
ive just recently, couple of weeks back realised that I might be ace and aro. I’ve read about it and recognized myself and now Im taking the next step to learn more through interacting with people so this is perfect for me :)
Im in Sweden so I’ll be have to figure out what time it will be over here but I’d it’s 7 pm UK time it should be 6 pm over here. Right? :P Sorry, I’m just so confused about time zones xD Is was January 10th right? It will work perfectly for me.
is it through google meet or discord? (Sorry I’ve read through the forum thread but maybe it read too quickly ) ??
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1 hour ago, roboticanary said:
Hi, welcome
As Erederyn said, there are many people using this site as a way of working out their identity, you are absolutely welcome using this site to figure yourself out.
What you say about being relieved at not having to deal with romance really strikes a chord with me. That feeling, the weight off my chest was one of the first things that made me think I might be aro.
Hope you find this a good place to work out your identity.
Thank you so much!!! :)
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I’m 37 and I’m in the process trying to figure things out. I’ve just recently, this month in December read about asexuality and aromanticism in the books “the invisible orientation” by Julie Sondra Decker and “ace” by Angela Chen.
If has a been very mind blowing and emotional read. I wanted to learn more because I want to learn more about every lgtbq+ Orientation of course. I’m Christian and work in church (I’m swedish) I don’t work much with lgtbq+ including work at the moment but I really want to, so I need to learn more. And I’m always interested learning about different people on a personal level too of course.
I found out about the ace and aro community and was absolutely in love with this from the start. I love when people dare to break norms in society, and the norm of sex and romanticism is a really strong one.
I was also curious about asexuality because during these last years of course I’ve been wondering about why I never meet someone and fall in love as my friends of my age. People around me of my age are settling down and having families, but I’m single as always with a non existing sex life. This has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety, but I’ve realised when thinking about it that it’s not necessary that I actually miss having a partner that’s stressful - is that pressure of love being something that is considered as bringing meaning to life, being a part of growing up and so on. I’ve been afraid of missing out something very important and I’ve been worried that I wouldn’t be happy and content with life if I wouldn’t experience love.
I know I’ve even been thinking that “if I only I could just have one of those shitty heartbreaking love affairs that won’t end well, but at least then I can say that I’ve experienced life “ - which is totally crazy of course. I don’t want to be with someone I don’t like just to be able to say “been there done that” ??
I’ve realised a lot of things while reading those books. I’ve recognized myself and it has been overwhelming and I’ve been feeling very emotional, vulnerable and like being out of my comfort zone. I’m used to listening to friends talking about their love life and and sexuality. Me, I have had hard time talking about that because I don’t feel the same feelings of course, and also because I’ve been feeling odd , that I can’t really relate to what they seem to experience. These couple of weeks I’ve been messaging with people on the AVEN site and also with an online friend and I’ve found myself discussing sexuality in a new way, like I can put words on things I haven’t been able to talk about with friends before. Maybe you recognize this: me telling friends “you know, I might not be capable of feeling things like romance “ and they reacting like I’m saying the most depressing thing in the world and saying “oh noooo you WILL find someone some day, it will come” It will come? I’m 37 years old :P
I am writing a long message here, but I guess I have such the need of putting my experiences and feelings into words to see how others would react and start interacting with people. I’ve read about this. Next step is to get in touch with others, I think, to try and see if I really fit in here. I feel very humble. The aces and aros, you all are amazing people to me and I’m just grateful if I can get in touch with any of you to be able to figure things out about myself (I hope).
I’d be so grateful if anyone would message me to exchange personal experiences and talk, would mean so much to me. So feel free to contact me ?
and thanks for being such a welcoming forum!
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2 hours ago, Erederyn said:
Welcome! That does sound pretty aro, but yeah, compulsive heterosexuality and amatonormativity can sometimes get in the way of figuring out one's identity. You're most welcome to use this space to figure things out and learn more about aromanticism and whether this is right for you or not. Plenty of people here are doing the same.
Also, this is such a great description ?
Nice to meet you and good luck on your journey of self-discovery!
Thank you so much ?
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My name is Elin. I’m a cis-woman, 37 years old from Sweden and I’m here on this site to be able to learn something.... ? I feel very humble to be here and I hope I can fit in, and be able to learn about aromanticism so I know if I’d fit into that definition or not.
I have friends and family within lgtbq+ but I’ve always considered myself heterosexual, I guess cause society norms are what they are.... thing is, heterosexuality and me - we never had that much of a passionate relationship, in fact nothing has happened in that department.
since I’m well over my 30s I’ve been thinking a lot about why I never develop attraction or fall in love with anyone. I know I’m not prudish, I think about sex a lot, I’m not afraid talking about it, it’s just that I don’t seem to meet anyone I want to be with that way. But learning about asexuality and aromanticism I’ve realised that I can relate so much to being aro. I recognize myself a lot. I’ve never been into dating, I feel very uncomfortable about the idea. I dislike the idea of making people like you, and I don’t seem to understand when friends seem to fall in love - all the time ?
Well I shouldn’t tell my whole life story here maybe, but I’d like to get in touch with others to talk, and maybe that would help me figure things out. I feel very humble being here and it feels at the same time that I’m completely out of my comfort zone, but also that finally have found something that make things in my life make sense. The thought of maybe not having to deal with romance at all fills me with relief. But I’m not sure about it yet, just starting to figure things out and I hope it’s ok to be here while doing it ?
thanks for reading my message! ?
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Aromantic Moments
in Aromantic Discussion
Posted
That’s also one of the ways I’ve realised that I’m aromantic, after learning about it just a few months ago. Well actually, I did recognized this “incapability” to connect with romantic love before knowing there was a word for it and i was the only one feeling this way but....