Black Sesame

So true. I often take things at face-value and fail to notice the underlying sexual/romantic context of it. Like, watching a movie together is really just that. It's sometimes difficult having to always pay attention to something that you yourself don't care about or can't even feel. Like having to differenciate colours while being colour blind.

I also generally think that many actions and activities that are often "romantically-coded" can be done outside of that context with family or friends. Though, personally I don't like having physical contact, besides hugging human pillows...I mean people I'm very close with. I definitely enjoy other activities like eating out or sth as long as its just that. Its like enjoying the plain cake, but not liking the "romantic" sugar coating on it. I do think that my view on romantically-coded activities is influenced by my repulsion for it. For romantic people its a beautiful expression of their love, but to me its just like watching one of those weirdly funny videos about courtship dances of birds. What is important is probably making sure that the other person also interprets the action the same way, otherwise it may become awkward. For example, I once met a foreign guy on the train. He was really nice and as a student in cultural studies I'm always interested in getting to know people in terms of their dispositions and cultural experiences etc. So we decided to meet each other again in an Ice-cream Café. Aro-me thought we would be meeting as friends, but he gave me a self-made bracelet as a gift and he paid for the ice cream (which I still interpreted as him just being really nice ?). Afterwards we went for a walk and he always wanted to hold my hand. That's when it finally dawned on me that he actually viewed this as a date...And here probably comes the aversion to romance into play. From the perspective of a date, this made me feel very repulsed and I'm still getting a chill down the spine just thinking about it. All the things he did might look sweet in the eyes of a romantic person, but to me it just makes me feel weirded out. Its the same situation, but in different context it yields different results. We might have become friends, but with the "romantic-coding" in it, I could only take flight and make sure to never meet again... This experience has made me more cautious, because my actions might get misunderstood.

of course you should quote me accordingly. ? Maybe this saying will become just as famous after all, as what Marie Antoinette is rumoured to have said: "if you can't afford bread, eat cake" ? (which I would totally agree to, if it hadn't been symbolic for the ignorance of the upper class towards the suffering of the poor)...oh well, now I got carried away ? Thank you, I am very grateful for your input on this ? Uh...are the quotes supposed to merge like that? QAQ

Thanks. Just go ahead and use it. ?

Hello, I'm a 26-year old female student with a love life as colourful as a blank sheet of paper. I have to admit that I was first hooked by the name of the website, which made me click on it, not knowing what I would find here. But don't worry, I'm not here just for that ? It was pretty clear to me from early on that I was somehow not on the same page with most of my peers when it came to love and everything it usually entails, just never bothered giving it a label until now. I don't want to talk with my family and friends about this, so I've always been on my own with it. That's why I'm really happy that there is a forum with people who share similar experiences. I am probably as aro as one can be, as I've never felt even as much as a spark of romantic interest towards anyone. In the last 26 years, I never really cared about it, as I even felt that this would make life so much easier without all the drama, but recently I've been wondering about how I want my life to be like (probably 'cause I'm about to graduate) and there comes the question: how do you fill this part your life or do you even need to fill it in the first place? How about you guys? Thank you for letting me join here!