boba

On 12/17/2022 at 7:30 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Bestie, you don't need romance, you need therapy and probably medication. Not to be rude, but like, your mom's an idiot if she thinks romance is going to solve the problem. Even if you were allo, in this state a romantic relationship would be very difficult to manage if not outright a disaster. I wish you much luck in your mental health journey and I wish your mom a very Shut The Fuck Up.

"bestie, you don't need romance. You need therapy and probably medication." I wish this was sold on pins and stickers because I would give them out like candy, ESPECIALLY to my allo friends who "always find themselves in toxic situationships."

also, aside from that. hi, b, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I know it sucks right now, and I wish I could give you a big hug wherever you are. I don't really have any advice that can soothe you right now or make you feel magically better. But I will say, being aro is a journey. Personally, the label "aro" was something that I resented at first but grew to find comfortable over time (read: 5 years.) In the way that you said some days are good and some days are not, I found it helpful to take things one day at a time. Wishing you lots of love, wherever you are!

10 extract a day

Scheduled: Dec 18, 2022 at 10:00 PM to 11:00 PM, CST

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

Ok, gave the album some time and relistened. 

I now love Lavender Haze, Great War, and Mastermind the most! <3 

me, sitting w cat ears and fishnets in a cafe I frequent every Monday afternoon lol, "I suppose?"

Just now, boba said:

me, sitting w cat ears and fishnets in a cafe I frequent every Monday afternoon lol, "I suppose?"

but in all seriousness, I may not go to my invited kickback bc I have so many chores to do and I haven't had me-time in like two weeks.

You thought this was a safe space away from the Taylor Swift Midnights escapade??? 

aBsoLUTelY NoT!!!! 

I am here to discuss how absolutely gay Question...? is, but also to say I love Glitch and Karma.

But also, I'm soft for BeJeweled!

(I CAN STILL MAKE THE WHOLE PLACE SHIMMERRRRRRRRRRRR ✨✨✨💃💃💃✨💃✨💃💃💃✨✨✨💃💃✨💃✨💃✨💃💃)

*chronic sigh of Oklahoman despair*

when it comes to guys, a very specific build. For girls, literally anything goes. But Jennie Kim will always be my #1

hi! Welcome to Arocalypse!

Man, I was considering whether or not to say anything

Persistent romantic acts, that are clearly unwanted, are acts of harassment.  Mine unfolded out to straight up stalking.

I was 15 when I started questioning if I was aro, 16 whenever it started to keep me up at night. 18 when I started to feel comfortable with the label.

So, you're not too young, but the journey (questioning/identifying/what-not) definitely can take time. It's a cop-out answer, but truly no one is able to discern whether or not your aro/ace/etc. except for yourself. And even those labels can be fluid, and exist on a spectrum. 

It sounds like you could be ace. But. You definitely do not need to have all the answers right now, they'll come in time. 

I know people who use numbers, but they (and their audience) completely understands that "attractiveness" is subjective. And it's not ever used seriously, still a lil weird though.

Leagues are definitely weird. Because like, what are the factors in that? How many factors are you using? Are these specific factors standardised (no, bc no one knows what "league" actually means, and even if u did have factors i.e attractiveness/personality/etc. it's still all subjective) ? 

On 6/25/2022 at 11:09 AM, Holmbo said:

Today my romantic orientation actually came up (I think the guy asking wants to date me). I told him I don't date and that I'm happy solo. Later I mentioned aromanticism of hand but I don't know if he knows what it means, he didn't ask about it it commented on the term specifically.

sometimes, I worry that they think I said, "I am a romantic." vs. the legit, "I'm aromantic."

On 6/21/2022 at 3:57 AM, glypharia.exe said:

Most of my friends were familiar with the label I use, but there was one of my friends who asked what an aroace was and my response went like this:
"Can you put flowers in acid?"   "...No?"   "Exactly. I am the acid and everyone else are the flowers. We are simply not compatible."

this is hilarious. I love it 

On 6/14/2022 at 12:55 PM, Holmbo said:

For me it rare I'm asked. Do you bring it up or does it come up naturally?

I am not sure what it is, but yes. Oddly enough, people do ask. Or, like, they make comments. In the past month, I've had at least 2 people inquire why I don't have a boyfriend (As if they cannot comprehend me not having one at all.) And then one girl, who I recently met, told me "You are the most anti-boy person I know!"

??? I thought this was normal for aro people ??? 

I'll go first. In the beginning, I don't tell them I'm romantic explicitly. I've tried in the past, and you just see their minds trying to conjure this impossible, new, radical concept. 

Now, I say, "I don't really catch feels." Most of the time, it's followed up with, "Wait. What? You've never had a crush?" And I'll shake my head. Some people don't even ask, they just roll with it. 

Then a few conversations later, I may introduce the term. But I've found this hilarious bro-language of "I don't catch feels" to be very effective.

cuddling and shooting the shit. I absolutely adore snuggling and just talking shit. It's accepted in some platonic circles, but not most.

I think variety and existence on a spectrum is simply part of animal behaviour. so, I suppose if you take the average/mean of every human being on the planet, you might find that it's skewed towards monogamy. but I don't think that necessarily means that everyone is monogamous. Rather, it might mean that there is an equal amount of monogamous to poly people on the planet.

same with robo, not really tbh. I realised my lack of romantic attraction first. all of my friends had significant others by junior year of highschool, and I was starting to panic. Because, they all had years of crushes and I had nothing (but lies, technically.) I ended up transferring schools mid highschool, and I thought that this would be my moment. But it wasn't, bc although there were tons of guys some with great appearances and some with great personalities, I felt nothing at all. And then, I started to realise that I may never feel anything at all. 

Took a bit to be ok with that, but fast forward for years, and I can use the term pretty comfortably. My sexual realisation came a year after my romantic one, but that was more likely bc of internalised homophobia.

64

responding

On 1/31/2022 at 5:57 PM, roboticanary said:

I'm up for taking on the admin side of this.

As for financing I can cover the licencing and email. but $75 a month is too much for me in all honesty.

The cheaper option, returning to a shared host as @Blue Phoenix Acemost likely used ( last time the site changed hands he gave a cost at ~$300 per year) that I could do.

So if there is no other option I would be happy to step in and run the forum. However it would mean a return to less reliable shared host so if anyone else wants to step up that would be a better option.

I can also help take on admin stuff, to split the work. But I echo the sentiment that I can't financially fund the forum.

Yes! Internalized acrophobia is absolutely a thing, and it's something that I struggled with for a few years before learning how to accept and eventually appreciate my identity.

Your relationship with your identity is your own, and likewise, it has its own journey and its own timing. Your emotions and feelings are valid, and it might be helpful to reflect on why you might feel this way. What exactly about being aro is appalling to you?

I was 17 and never ever had experienced a semblance of romantic emotion, yet there were incredible people surrounding me, and all of my closest friends were falling in love with each other or others. and I thought, oh I could be a late bloomer. But I couldn't help but wonder....what if I never developed romantic feelings at all?