El011

Why doesn't bisexual feel right? What genders are you attracted to or not attracted to?

I don't think anyone from Warrior Nun is aromantic atm but I do think Ava and the nuns are in a companionate relationship. They act so close, like they mean everything to each other, and they really only want to prioritize each other in terms of relationships...but except for Ava and Beatrice, and Shannon and Mary, I just don't see any of it as romantic. They just wanted to devote their lives to each other over men.

42% aro/mostly aro

25% not aro or ace

17% demisexual/gray ace

8% romantic ace

8% aro ace

I just say attracted to men. A lot of other terms bother me because of how they conflate gender identity and expression and because of how they can be used to fetishize trans people. I'd say the only exception to that rule is when nonbinary people use them.

I feel like it would be unfair. She could be with someone who can feel the same way about her, and you're not even into girls. You should be with a guy. Just be honest and tell her you still want to be friends but that you'd also be interested in hand holding and cuddling.

On 4/23/2020 at 4:13 PM, Coyote said:

And if you don't want to change absolutely anything about the relationship, then... you might ask yourself what you're hoping to accomplish with the conversation.

I just want to be honest. It's unfair to her to be in a relationship with someone who can't feel the same way without her consent.

15% Conservative, 85% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

• we think romance is bad
• we're all manipulative
• we lie to our sexual partners in order to get sex
• we're all cishet frat boys who discard women after having sex with them
• we all think we're oppressed for being aro/that allo privilege is a real thing
• we don't understand what material oppression is
• we're all white
• we're all cis
• we're all either straight or ace
• we're all immature and shit on other people's happiness
• we're all homophobic
• those of us that are LGBT make the LGBT community look bad
• we all lack empathy for people who are going through romantic problems, or who are discriminated against for being in a romantic relationship (i.e. gay couples, interracial/interabled/interfaith couples, couples that involve nonbinary or trans or gnc or intersex people)
• we don't really know what we want
• we never shut up about being aro and shove it in people's faces even when we don't have to and they literally don't care
• we all use the word allosexual/romantic
• we don't have a consistent definition of romantic attraction and therefore don't exist
• we all think that everyone who doesn't identify as aro/ace is just constantly falling in love and wanting to fuck 24/7, obsessed with romance/sex, and has the exact same uncomplicated relationship with their attraction

I honestly don't feel the need to tell anyone I'm quoiro unless I'm dating or having sex with them or I think I might have a crush on them. Lots of people have complex feelings about romance and would fit the definition of aromantic or grayromantic whether they identify that way or not, the concept of aromanticism and asexuality as we define them on here are very westernized, and being aro isn't an oppressed identity. Same for being ace. So I don't think there's usually any need to tell people about that part of your identity unless you're romantically/sexually involved with them. Or unless they're your therapist or maybe a close friend or something. Like, someone you would normally talk to about your sex life.

It's a breach of trust and consent and a disregard for the other person's boundaries. A lot of people who have been cheated on feel like they're not good enough for their partner.

I'm starting to think Kara Danvers is grayromantic/quoiromantic and bisexual.

-i don't think she ever dated until James and it never seemed to be a priority

-with the exception of (abusive and manipulative) Mon-El, all of her relationships and interactions with people she's been shipped with seem to blur the line between romance and best friends to me

-routinely sees her friends as a priority over dating

-seems happier when just hanging out with her friends and family than she has in a romantic relationship

Sorry to resurrect the thread but at my work we have the kind of environment where casual discussion about sex isn't necessarily weird, and that's how I found out that two of my managers don't believe in monogamy and would essentially rather have a fwb or committed sexual relationship with someone. Neither one identifies as aro.

So in that case I would advise someone not-aro to date someone aro but other than that it's more of a case by case basis. In general I would say no, aros and non aros shouldn't date because if romance is something important to you then you should be with someone who can return your feelings, but like if someone who doesn't identify as aro was interested in an aro person and knew exactly what they were getting into and still wanted to do it and everyone involved is freely consenting and happy with the arrangement, or like if someone wanted to stay with their partner who realized they were aro while already in a relationship and the aro person was ok with that...it's their call.

So I have a girlfriend and we've been together for ten months now. I'm happy and don't want to break up with her. However, I'm realizing that on my end it's more of a commitment based on friendship and teamwork than what I've experienced last time I had an actual crush, and that with most of the people I've had "crushes" on it was difficult or just not useful to me to differentiate between whether or not I was genuinely romantically attracted to them. How do I tell my gf this without being manipulative but also not hurting her?

My name is Finn/Eli and I'm a nonbinary/neutrois gnc bi woman. I use he/him pronouns and other masc terms, I'm a 22 yo senior in college and a social work major and amateur language nerd + artist and writer. I'm currently questioning my aromantic status (i dislike the phrase romantic orientation for myself, like if someone asks me who I'm attracted to quoiromantic doesn't answer their question but bisexual does so I don't consider it an orientation) but quoiromantic seems to work ok for now. my favorite movie is into the spiderverse, favorite book is rogelia's house of magic and also the Jennifer Scales series, favorite colors are moss green, cranberry, and rose gold, favorite food is a poke bowl. dislikes include mushrooms, most bugs, my skin breaking out, people getting in the way of me working, and the sound of metal on metal. I'm a slytherpuff.

I've identified as aro on and off for a few years now and the way I found out was through finding the Aromantics Club group on skittlr when I was 17 back when skittlr was still a thing and realizing gray aromantic fit me pretty well. My ideal relationship is basically a committed friendship based on teamwork, collaboration, sex, and coherent qualities that the other person and I like about one another; romance isn't really a priority in that equation necessarily though I have definitely had one major crush before.