Thanks for your feedback!
It is of most importance for me at the moment to understand aro's perspectives. Joining a romantic community would not give me a lot of answers at the moment.
No, I'm not happy in this relationship and it would probably just me wise to break it up. But we have 13 years in common, and most importantly, three children. You don't just walk out of someone's life before working hard on all the scenarios. At least that's how I see things. And we have our harmony at the moment, it's not that I'm living an unbearable situation. And yes, I would love to be able to work with him on another form of relationship, a more honest one. The ongoing faking of all connection moments just drives me crazy.
I'm assuming he's aro after knowing him quite well (as you can imagine) and having checked the literature. He hasn't come out and it's probably not ethical for me to assume he's aromantic. Experience tells me sometimes people themselves prefer not to see their own reality, it's just more convenient, whereas close people knew it all along. That's what happens to some gay man, for instance. Years later, they will assume their own nature and identity.
Take care and let me know if something else pops your mind.