Inez

I am a romantic woman, live together with my (recently discovered aromantic) partner for 11 years and we have three children. Although our relationship has had a couple of serious crises, as far as the upbringing of our children is concerned we're totally in one line. What would you like to know specifically @ChimChim?

@eatingcroutons Thank you so much for your reaction and for coming into my defense. You totally understood my primary reactions to this new fact in my life and my purpose in joining this community. ? From the initial shock (yes, romantic love means a lot to me), I now want to get to know my partner better in his essence and be able to help us achieve a more transparent and honest relationship. I'm sure we'll both be happier. I joined the community to get straightforward advice, criticism and some enlightenment on how to move forward in creating new meaning in our relationship. The comments I have so far in this thread ( @NullVector, @Jot-Aro Kujo @nonmerci ) and in my introduction ( @Cristal Gris ) have helped me align thoughts and ideas. And I'm also grateful to them. Have a great weekend everyone!

I'm very grateful for all your comments. You have helped me a lot on turning the picture around and seeing the other side of the story. I do hope the fact that we discovered aromanticism can bring a new insight into our relationship. We respect each other enormously, have a similar perspective on a lot of things, including the upbringing of our children. Yes, we've been together for 13 years but it hasn't been easy. I always felt incomplete and not loved as a woman/wife/partner. It's hard to find out what's going on when your partner thinks we have the perfect relationship and doesn't engage on any self-assessment or investigation on what could be wrong. I fell into a depression, was on therapy for about a year, we did couple therapy, I put my career on second place because I wanted to save our family. He now acknowledges that he faked romantic situations but in his heart he believes the whole world does it (some better than others). I now have the feeling that my partner loves me like you would love an old college good friend. He's aware of the impact of knowing about aromanticism has had on me (I finally have found the key!) and he's reacting in a romantic way which I find weird. He's texting me more often, sends hearts, kisses me more that he would before. But he's not really interested in diving into the topic although he recognizes himself in the term. I realize this might not be the group to post my comments. Sorry for that. If any more experienced community member has a suggestion for another discussion, I'm very appreciated.

After being in a relationship of 13 years (and three kids) I just found out my partner is aromantic. All pieces came together when I finally discovered what an aromantic is. All along, my aromantic partner has felt sexually attracted to me but he was never in love. It's quite devastating although I always felt we were some kind of housemates with benefits. He's aware of my discovery and getting more interested in the topic as he's seeing himself in all the definitions. Anyone experienced with this sort of situations? Thanks for your help.