VoidpunkDreams

I'm having a little bit of trouble lately with my transition, and also having some trouble with cis-men. I'm not out when it comes to my Aro/Ace status and the first rush of knowing these things about myself has died down quite a bit. I haven't been on this site for months, but I'm back now I suppose that denial is the loneliest place in the world.

I drift in and out of the gender binary, but I pass quite well as a man and recently I joined a band with a bunch of straight cis guys of whom only one knows about my transness. A couple of times this month a few of the guys behaving as guys do often talk about women and sex. Apart from the insipid sexism that makes me feel more than a little ashamed, I feel a little bit that I have to kind of put this whole thing on and it's suffocating. I'm feeling closeted and lonely. I know I sit in the Aro spectrum quite strongly but I guess that the binary gender thing is driving me up the wall. But what is also driving me up the wall is this whole Allo thing where being in a relationship is normal. For cis-men, theres is this thing where [sic] a real man is proven with his sexual record and the idea that men are naturally driven towards sex and sexual things--if you are not sexual then it somehow compromises your masculinity. As a Trans Man my masculinity appears quite queer anyway. But a solid masculine performance is essential to my survival, even as I know that gender is really a set of social behaviours at least to me, gender is just as strange as the romantic/sexual drive. That being said I'm quite new to the band scene, and I'm making that transition from playing music on my own to the professional sphere. It's really important to me that this works.

I'd like some advice from other cis or Trans men that are Aro/Ace spectrum that have navigated this thing with or without success. Did you come out? Or did you not bother? What other social situations did you navigate? 

I'm not expecting answers right away--but I thought I'd post something here rather than just sit in some kind of despair. Thanks in advance--

This is really interesting...how did you go? Did it work out as planned? 

I really like the article too, and especially the anti-cap critique which I think is really important. So much of the nuclear family is invested in producing labour for the capitalist machine, it's like our friendships don't matter--they're just distractions. I think friendship has this capacity to be involved in a subversive way--when we have affinities with our queer communities, we're less easy to break. 

I'm romance neutral, but sort of freak a little when someone talks about 'dates' in the friendship context. I just like to hang out with friends...I don't know about all the intimacy and emotional labour that comes with that. 

On 6/16/2019 at 2:43 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Yeah, I did indeed create voidpunk as @Coyote said, and uh... I don't mean to be rude, but none of the things in your post are accurate.

That's not to say that none of them could share overlap with voidpunk, of course. If you identify as voidpunk and those things help define you, that's great! I'm glad. But none of that is at all what voidpunk is about. Please don't spread misconceptions, as I've already seen a lot of people wildly misinterpreting what voidpunk is to such a degree that it begins to be harmful to those of us who first formed the voidpunk community. The posts Coyote mentioned ought to help give you a better understanding of what voidpunk actually is.

Thanks so much for your post. I would like to think that I can respectfully add to the identity without you know misinterpreting...I'm still new here so you know um...trying to find my crowd -- ✌️ 

@Coyote Thanks for taking the time to respond to my enquiry. I'm still pretty new here and am not sure what to do o_0  but I posted because the words VoidPunk really appeal to me. I haven't been out all that long and I'm trying to find others like me...I posted this out of respect for the community that made the term so I could connect and find out more. That's really about my intention rn and not much else. 

I have been looking around for definitions of the VoidPunk but could not find many open identifications or a definitive list. 

If you have encountered VoidPunk and have an idea of what that could look like I would like to know but the words define my identity rn and this list is looking to expand. 

Currently VoidPunk could be defined as the following:

• Identifies as Ace and Aro not on a spectrum but situated in the non-amorous
• Body mind and soul vortex only manifests when the VoidPunk is seen by other beings but is largely absent otherwise (Void)
• Identifies as Post-Human or Anti-human
• Likes machines and the machine aesthetic, including Art by machines, and music with machine sounds.
• May identify as a cyborg (from the author 'Donna Haraway')
• Punk aesthetics--strange or unruly hair with green colours or a total absence of colour. Odd tattoos and piercings. Dystopian clothing--ripped or torn, old clothing, hoodies, boots and odd socks.
• Apolitical largely, or identifies with subsections of Anarchism eg: Anarcho-Queer 
• Problem with authority (includes parental manifest, teacher manifest and police manifest)
• Staunch introvert.
• Largely Emo.
• Prone to shapeshifting.

That's all I can think of rn. This list will be nurtured and expanded upon! 

P.S if you have met other VP's on this site or have experienced other VP's I would love to chats 

Yrs VoidPunk x

I like this 'expansion idea @The Angel of Eternity as a unifying theory of subaltern forces. But one could argue that spiritual or mental intimacy happens with folks all the time as part of a consciousness field. One could argue that when it comes to the self one is always 'expanding' however if one experiences a form of desire for another being then I think it means that there is 'simpatico' energy. Or that there is an aspect of the identity that makes itself known through the manifestation and/or identification of another the 'birds of a feather flock together' experience that forms the basis of most friendships. It may be deeper than most friendships because it resembles a squish but is actually more like a self revelation. If that makes sense. These things don't last long I've realised...or the universe makes it apparent that the person is only there when there is something to be revealed about yourself and then the friendship fades from view when you have realised that thing.

@AlyssaSometimes I intensely like someone because I find that they are something I would like to be. Sounds superficial maybe but I like people because of aesthetics and thats me. 

@running.tally Thanks so much for that. Truly illuminating. @aro-fae I am getting those feels about jumping the ace ship but the shoe definitely has to fit right. Why should I wear the ace shoe if I don't experience intimate attraction to others hardly ever is the question.

Crises precipitates change.

We Live! I shall add to the VoidPunk Drama by rewriting the persona...At the very least there is the Punk

What and why are the Leaderboards for? :p

Who awards points?

Also...I can't load your ARO FAQ I get an error page. Am I using the wrong browser?

VoidPunk. Green hair. Piercings. So happy about the ARo exclusive space. Look forward to hanging out and getting some support around being Aro and Ace. 

Let's chats :p

I recently had a little shift on the Aro/Ace divide which has led me to question the sexual identification tag. I don't like being sexualized and I don't actually have a sexuality although once upon a time before Gender Transition I would have identified as Pan. I mean I don't have sex anymore as an Ace and probably sex repulsed because I always think sex leads to romance. Idk if anyone has experienced this shift too...The Aro is better because it determines who I like to hang out with and I can relate more to it.