DogObsessedLi

Unfortunately it goes much deeper though. In a nutshell, one is my brother the other guy is a brother by another mother that stems from forever. My sister-in-law has them in the friend category, I'm in the (less important) in-law category - unfortunately she'll soon realise I can punch my own weight when needed but I do care about how it would affect others (unlike her who only cares about herself).

On 6/9/2019 at 7:43 AM, Apathetic Echidna said:

yeah, I know those feels. Then even when it is known you don't like young kids they expect you to act as if they are the best things. I end up saying things they find inappropriate as I try to find things to say that are not outright lies.  

Oh yes! And they expect me to want to change nappies telling me, "it's not all fun and games". I mean, isn't that the benefit of being an aunt or uncle that we get the fun stuff, just like she gets the fun stuff with my dog but it's me who picks up, goes to the vet and generally does all the owner stuff. I know many in my family will say, "give us a poo bag", but I wouldn't expect it.

Sorry I need to rant to fellow aros sorry! Has anyone else really been affected by the changes in dynamics when friends get romantic partners, get married, have kids, then of course you don't get invited to stuff because you're not in the "have a kid gang". It probably doesn't help that I was originally mates with the lads, and as soon as the girlfriends (now wives) come along they not only change the dynamics but they are also the organisers (most cis-het men I know are awful at organising) who just don't appreciate where you were in the dynamics of the group before they came along, esp being a woman. I am sure I'm just "Rob's sister" to them, and so you end up feeling left out or "left behind".

I might share this article for pride month with my Facebook friends. Even though it could be better, I think the article is mostly spot on as any imperfect article can be and is a question that needs to be addressed in society.

Oh, she's always apologising when she's being intense!!! She can be needy when she's perhaps not been having the best day mentally, but we seem to have agreements in place.

I do think there is a need for visibility, because how can people accept us if they don't know about us. It is work though dealing with the questions, but again if they don't get answers then they definitely won't understand. It does help in some ways the online presence though. It can give a safer space for people to find out about themselves. Becoming confident with ourselves is always a precursor to any coming out and everyone is in a different situation. For example my church is looking to become an official inclusive church and I feel that as an aro ace person I potentially have a lot to give to that from a double A awareness perspective (who also happens to be in a same sex QPR) and I'd happily work with others and come out for this greater good. But everyone is in a different situation and our situations are changing over time. It would be more important though I think if there was no online presence (say back before the internet in person visibility would have greatly helped others). So in a nutshell I think it's a complicated question with a complicated answer!

Hi. I'm aro ace and my QPP is homoromantic with romantic attraction to me. I am generally chilled with her attraction to me and I love her companionship. I don't want her to get frustrated and she's concerned about "scaring me away". Is anyone else in a similar situation who could give handy advice etc. Thanks.