DogObsessedLi

I think it can depend on a case by case situation, and of course how confident you are in your orientation (as well as time, how much you need to explain how much energy you have). I always have certain go to explanations for example getting them to imagine how they'd be in a romantic relationship with the sex or gender they aren't attracted to (it's amazing how many times that doesn't work, esp with cishet men), or the positive approach of getting them to think back to their best friends or besties before romantic relationships were prioritised in their life. Again, you can deal with idiots, but my experience is that it can take more than one chat to explain to the average person. I have the attitude that it's no secret I'm aromantic asexual but I don't speak to strangers about it and only personally bring it up for a reason, and then I always like to make people feel they can ask sincere questions. It is a difficult issue though, and LGBT groups do need to be educated primarily in some ways. There is no overnight solution.

I must admit that I think there's different levels of awareness. Often even in queer/quasi support agencies they can be ignorant of aromantic and asexual orientations, it's one of the big problems generally with the LGBT+ term because you'll get everything from LGBT to LGBTQI, it's rare that As are even considered, and definitely the awareness of split attraction is definitely not made aware in these circles, be it aromantic allosexual, alloromantic asexual or another combination (my QP is homoromantic heterosexual for example). But my aromantic asexual orientation is neither a secret or do I tell everyone

Unfortunately it goes much deeper though. In a nutshell, one is my brother the other guy is a brother by another mother that stems from forever. My sister-in-law has them in the friend category, I'm in the (less important) in-law category - unfortunately she'll soon realise I can punch my own weight when needed but I do care about how it would affect others (unlike her who only cares about herself). Oh yes! And they expect me to want to change nappies telling me, "it's not all fun and games". I mean, isn't that the benefit of being an aunt or uncle that we get the fun stuff, just like she gets the fun stuff with my dog but it's me who picks up, goes to the vet and generally does all the owner stuff. I know many in my family will say, "give us a poo bag", but I wouldn't expect it.

Sorry I need to rant to fellow aros sorry! Has anyone else really been affected by the changes in dynamics when friends get romantic partners, get married, have kids, then of course you don't get invited to stuff because you're not in the "have a kid gang". It probably doesn't help that I was originally mates with the lads, and as soon as the girlfriends (now wives) come along they not only change the dynamics but they are also the organisers (most cis-het men I know are awful at organising) who just don't appreciate where you were in the dynamics of the group before they came along, esp being a woman. I am sure I'm just "Rob's sister" to them, and so you end up feeling left out or "left behind".

I might share this article for pride month with my Facebook friends. Even though it could be better, I think the article is mostly spot on as any imperfect article can be and is a question that needs to be addressed in society.

Oh, she's always apologising when she's being intense!!! She can be needy when she's perhaps not been having the best day mentally, but we seem to have agreements in place.

I do think there is a need for visibility, because how can people accept us if they don't know about us. It is work though dealing with the questions, but again if they don't get answers then they definitely won't understand. It does help in some ways the online presence though. It can give a safer space for people to find out about themselves. Becoming confident with ourselves is always a precursor to any coming out and everyone is in a different situation. For example my church is looking to become an official inclusive church and I feel that as an aro ace person I potentially have a lot to give to that from a double A awareness perspective (who also happens to be in a same sex QPR) and I'd happily work with others and come out for this greater good. But everyone is in a different situation and our situations are changing over time. It would be more important though I think if there was no online presence (say back before the internet in person visibility would have greatly helped others). So in a nutshell I think it's a complicated question with a complicated answer!

Hi. I'm aro ace and my QPP is homoromantic with romantic attraction to me. I am generally chilled with her attraction to me and I love her companionship. I don't want her to get frustrated and she's concerned about "scaring me away". Is anyone else in a similar situation who could give handy advice etc. Thanks.