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Not sure if I’m aro-spec/ace-spec



Hi!! I haven’t been on here in a while, but recently, I’ve started to question my romantic and sexual orientations. So, I’ve come on here to ask if I might be aro-spec.

I think I’ve had a couple crushes, but I’m honestly not sure. It seems like most of the ones from my childhood either felt forced or were based on another kind of attraction, like aesthetic or platonic, and I honestly I can’t even fully remember the majority of my feelings towards these so-called crushes. I might have had one in middle school, but after getting rejected by him, I felt so free and comfortable. Then, I recently thought I had a crush on a girl. It started with me realizing how cute and pretty she is and wanting to be better friends with her. And then, I started feeling romantic feelings for her, like I fantasized about kissing her once and I felt nervous around her. But once I found out she had a bf, I felt sad for a bit, and then I got over it. I also often can’t figure out whether someone else likes me romantically and whether I might feel that way towards them as well, so sometimes I’ll try to fantasize about that person; I usually feel kinda romantic towards them, like a little bit, but once I understand they’re not interested, I feel a bit dejected and then move on. I also notice that most, if not all, of the traits I look for in a romantic partner are the ones I look for in friends (I’m mentioning it bc I’ve heard that it can be a sign of being aro-spec), and I like the idea of a romantic relationship; although it might seem a bit scary to be single for the rest of my life, since I would like to love someone and have a close bond with them, but at the same time, I know I wouldn’t be alone.

So, what do y’all think? I think I could be greyromantic, but idk for sure. 

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Greyromantic is a variant, yes. If you grew romantic feelings to that girl when she became your friend and it was similar with those other ones, then demi is an option too, but also if like you said what you felt had just a faint tint of romance and quickly faded, then I guess grey is closer. Also I think there's a label for people who feel romance only if it can be reciprocated (like the opposite of lithromantic), but I don't remember it. And theoretically wanting a romantic relationship can be cupio. 

About wanting to have a close bond with someone, would you prefer it romantic or something different? 

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