I’m in a QPR with an Allo, but they’re looking for romance

[Raven-in-daylight]

so, i’m in a qpr with my partner, let’s call them B. 

i’m aroace, B is bi. 

i met B three years ago, and we’ve been extremely close friends since. for the last year, we’ve been in a qpr. we aren’t living together, but we write every day, show incredibly much emotional vulnerability to each other and are very intimate (not in a sexual way, and touch is limited bc trauma on both sides), and meet very frequently. i would lye if i said B wasn’t the most important person in my life. i love being together with them, we share so much, and i wouldn’t be who i am today without them. yet, i do not have any romantic feelings for them. 

but, recently, B started to talk about romance, and that they want it. but we both know i can’t provide that attraction, so it’s always been in the context of a romantic relationship with someone else. and that hurts, because i’m afraid B will leave me, weather they intend to or not. i don’t see it as being possible that we still have our qpr and they have a romantic relationship on the side. 

[.CORALINE.]

I'm living a similar situation with my allo best friend (qp partner?) right now except for the fact he currently feels alright with it, but he always says he would like to have a relationship (with someone else) in the future. My advice is to do what I did some days ago: talk to them. Ask them what would they like to do whenever they will find someone romantically available, how could you bond survive and evolve in that case. And express what exactly you feel about it, like: can it survjve as a strong friendship or do you think it would hurt too much?

I know it's a really difficult situation and also really scary, but I think you'll find your balance again if you stay honest and talk a lot about your feelings ❤️