Jump to content
  • 0

Need some advice

Guest WhattodoaboutMonday


Guest WhattodoaboutMonday

 I don’t know how I feel, but I feel weird

I’m sorry, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to post here or really where, I was just looking for some advice, I don’t really have anyone to turn to about what just happened. 

I should preface, I’m female (21) I’ve never had a boyfriend and thought nobody really deemed me attractive enough to start a conversation, I think this is why I feel weird.

I got to a large university and we have something called a student center where people can go grab food for dinner and what not or just study. Well, I went because I missed dinner at the dining hall and was pretty hungry, instead of going back to my dorm I decided to stay at the student center and work on my final project for class that is due tomorrow. 

A guy who I’ll call Steve came up to me and asked if he could sit by me, I wasn’t sure of what he meant or if I just misheard him so I told him he could have my seat and that I was going to go to a different part of the student center. He said “no” he was just wondering if he could sit at the table with me (mind you there were already four open tables). 

I  was ok with that but I told him I was going in a little bit. He said ok and came to sit next to me which I thought was weird as I though he meant across from me. We started talking a bit, but I told him I was busy and working on a project, hinting at him to leave me alone, except he wouldn’t. 

He told me his friend were off playing pool and kept inviting me to things, asking where I live, what I do, ect. I told him some things but I mostly left everything vague. Every time he would ask if I was free I would tell him I have a lot of finals to finish up so probably not but he kept asking. 

Some time had passed since I first sat down, my computer died, and I was getting ready to leave which I again hinted at, but Steven came and moved his chair to essentially block me from getting out from the table (I was in the corner) 

He then asked me if mind if he sat next to me and I said I’m ok as long as you don’t touch me. He laughed and then said can I put my hand over your shoulder, I don’t know what I was expecting but he did, I think I was expecting more of a friendly hand on the shoulder instead of felt not so friendly. I told him I rather him not, and after a few time of shrugging my shoulder to try and get him to move his arm he didn’t. Instead he moved his hand to the side of me (my left side to be exact) and started to stroke my boob and bra through my shirt, like trying to massage me. I kept shifting uncomfortably and I told him I was hot but he still kept his arm and hand around my chest area. 

I felt really uncomfortable and I still do. I feel like it’s my fault though because I didn’t explicitly tell him to stop, I for whatever reason thought he could tell by my body language that I didn’t like it. I also tried looking around and signaling I needed some help of sorts but nobody was really paying attention. 

I just feel really weird and kind of gross and I realize I should have said something earlier if I didn’t want to be touched in that way, but I was kind of scared. 

I just wanted to write this down and ask if maybe I am overacting or just get some advice on if I should do anything? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 answer to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0
Guest purplehat

If in any situation someone is making you uncomfortable, say no and leave immediately.

This time you froze with fear on encountering a new and uncomfortable situation, that's alright. Happens to everyone.

We are only human, after all.

But, in future my advice is to be direct and straightforward about what you want. Learn to say no.

It was Steven's fault majorly because he should not have touched you in a sexual way without explicit consent.

What happened, happened.

Learn to assert your wishes.

And if someone tries to touch you again even just on the shoulder and you do not like it. Explicitly say that it is making you uncomfortable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Answer this question...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...