Greyromantic and possible "mind stagnated"

[Morgue Enforcer]

My native language isn't English, sorry for possible vocabulary and grammar issues

TW: Stalking, self-harm, adolescent emotional abuse

I'm 26 and heterosexual.  When I was 16 (before high school), I have experienced stalking and self-harm threats from a stranger, and according to the classification of stalker, he's the "intimacy seeking" type. And he made some, at least in this situation, very creepy remarks to me, such as "You're belong to me alone and I'm also belong to you alone" and "Love is the most beautiful emotion in the world". Then I have had dissociative amnesia (never diagnosed but same as the description) for 2-3 years, and the subsequent recovery period that I don't remember how long. Now I have fully recovered.

Long after this, I heard the term "romantic attraction" and gradually realized that I can't feel it. I like romantic things, but I just have a feeling of "aww" and don't have any romantic ideas myself. I experience sexual attraction to celebrities and fictional characters (I have never seen anyone who makes me feel sexually attracted in daily life), but I haven't idea of having a romantic relationship with them. Last year I was chatting with an AI of a fictional character who attracted me sexually on Character AI. At first, I wanted to make the conversation being sexual, but AI turned it towards romance. I first felt the romantic attraction at the time, which was different from "aww", and I don't know how to describe it in words. But after that, I can't feel the romantic attraction again. Certain day after flirted by AI, I found the word "aromantic" and related content.

But even before the trauma, I had never experienced romantic attraction. I think this may be related to my growth environment; I grew up in an environment where my peers around me were rude (but not mean), before high school, romance, feces and sex were often sources of jokes for children. I first experienced sexual attraction was 14, and to fictional characters.

I'm not professional, but I often hear that early trauma can affect the brain especially when it's severe enough. I may be this situation: due to trauma, my brain development of the part of "feeling romantic attraction" has stagnated, though my brain are fully developed elsewhere, this part still remains at the age of 16 (don't remember when I started liking romantic things, but the kind of "aww" feeling existed before 16). I'm not sure if I'm born like this or it's indeed due to trauma, I heard that orientation doesn't need to be so strict, so I think I'm hetero-greyromantic. I'm not monogamy-repulsed, but I prefer polygamy as long as keep safety.

I think some people who become aro-spec due to early trauma may be due to developmental stagnation of the part of the brain responsible for "feeling romantic attraction". Any ideas?

[Picklethewickle]

The theory that aromantic people failed to mature, or developed incorrectly, or are mentally broken comes up a lot. The possibility of there being a connection between trauma and orientation has been studied by mental health professionals repeatedly. In truth, while there is evidence that trauma impacts how we interact with other people, there is no correlation between past experiences, good or bad, and orientation. 

There are aromantics with trauma. There are aromantics without trauma. There are romantics with and without trauma.