aromantic or just commitment issues?

[Guest Max]

Hey , I´m question if I ´m aro or not , I know I´m not ace but lets not get into details with that. I never really felt romantic attraction (I think , it really confuses me what it even should feel like) I get scared every time when someone shows me they have romantic feelings towards me. As soon things start looking more serious between me and someone else I just get turned off and don´t want anything to do with them.  

Like I can get obsessed with someone when like they give me lots of attention or when they are great in bed but if they want to go on dates I just see it as a waste of time or as a platonic thing to do. I have been in some relationships before but they all felt so forced and fake and the break ups I didn't even care for, only if they were a good friend of mine before but otherwise I didn't care at all. Its also I think I don´t think I´m scared of commitment , I can commit to someone and I eventually want to become a dad someday with a loving husband or wife , but its just romance , it confuses me so much and I don´t have a clue how it should feel like.

It feels like I only can have sexual relationships and platonic relationships , but isn't romance the combined feeling of that??? 

[hemogoblin]

17 hours ago, Guest Max said:

I don´t have a clue how it should feel like.

It shouldn't feel like one, specific, objective thing. If you don't experience anything you would or want to label as romantic, then you don't experience anything romantic. It's up to you. No one can know your feelings better than you - even when you're unsure of your feelings. After all, feelings are personal to you. 

17 hours ago, Guest Max said:

It feels like I only can have sexual relationships and platonic relationships , but isn't romance the combined feeling of that??? 

For some people, maybe. For me, it was a very distinct Other thing. 

17 hours ago, Guest Max said:

I´m question if I ´m aro or not

Do you want to be aro? Do you want to try it out? There's your answer. 

[Anonymous]

Romantic attraction, sexual attraction and platonic attraction are completely different things! That's why you can be just aromantic, just aplatonic or just asexual or any combination of these. 

I am pretty confidently aromantic and I personally experience something similar, actually. I really like being close to people, like cuddling or hugging with them (Which oftentimes gets mistaken for romantic behavior when it is not). I'm really affectionate overall and I'm okay woth it when a person is affectionate back, but when it comes to a point when it's heavily implicit or straight-up explicit that a person is romantically interested I get repulsed and start feeling weird about touching them affectionately. 

Always remember that aromantic just means "Feeling none or very little romantic attraction", it has nothing to do with liking sex, being affectionate, etc. Distincting all of these feelings can be really tough, it took me a lot of thinking and pondering until I accepted myself as aromantic, but hey, maybe this helps.