I think I really want to have children

[Guest --T--]

This is has been a complicated thing but I've thought about it and I think I may actually want two or three "little noodles" in my house. 

I'm trans and he thought of having me be biologically related to the child gives me weird feelings. Being the one who contributes the X just haunts me. At the same time, I think that's not really the first thing I should be considering. 

So my version of being aroace is I definitely don't want to have sex or romance so no relationships of hose two kinds. How will I parent then? I am sure that I don't want to do so on my own. I'd love to have someone to "rear" children with. But then when I think of living with said person, I feel weird. Even though we both had different bedrooms. 

I'm thinking, I'd have to find a person that will be okay with never having another partner to rear any kids with. That's if I'm still alive. Who also wants to maybe not live together. Maybe I'm apprehensive because I don't know who this person is. In my mind they are a stranger. I may actually like this person as a friend ofcourse and be comfortable with eventually maybe even cuddling some nights in the month. Idk. 

Anyways, back to the issue. I have no gender preferences. So not sure what we'll be working with. Also I'm not good at actively seeking people out because I'm an introvert. Finding someone to rear kids with theoretically feels impossible. 

 Still, I wanna be a dad. Teach my kids algebra and organic chemistry or whatever. Joke around and prank their other parent together. Celebrate birthdays and clean their scrapped knees. Hold them when they cry and protect them as best I can. 

dammit. I'm doomed. But I still have time. I'm still working on my medical transition. When that's out of the way, I'll make my home and get my little munchkins.

[hemogoblin]

Ime, when we live in a state where we have had to adapt to near constant pessimism and fear, it's hard to imagine achieving the future we dream of. It probably sounds sick, but I use to wish I would develop breast cancer because I hated my boobs so much and wanted them cut off. Even when I found out top surgery was a thing, I knew it was a thing for trans people, and I wasn't trans. It took me years to A) realize I was trans/nonbinary, and B) see that it was possible for me to pursue top surgery. And when I finally actually got around to the logistics of it...it took a matter of mere months and bam. I'm closing in on a year post-op.

There's 100% a future out there where you're platonically coparenting a wonderful squad of kiddos! Don't lose hope. Keep contemplating and make some plans. I bet you'll realize it's not quite as impossible as it felt at this moment. =)

[DeltaAro]

On 11/12/2023 at 9:56 PM, Guest --T-- said:

dammit. I'm doomed. But I still have time. I'm still working on my medical transition. When that's out of the way, I'll make my home and get my little munchkins.

Hopefully your wish comes true. 💚 Having children is the only thing I find positive about romantic relationships, and about which I'm envious.