lotusflower Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 Hi, so I ID as greyromantic, however I'd like to gain more insight abt my romantic orientation for myself. All I know is that I have had some sort of aego-romantic attraction. When having romantic fantasies, I was never able to my actual self in the scenario with my crush. I always choose some girls from TV to replace me. Not sure if this means I was actually not romantically attracted to him (alterously instead), or if I was romantically attracted to him, but couldnt picture myself as a girl in a relationship with him (im nonbinary so maybe that was an early sign of dysphoria) But idk if I might be demiromantic too. So im in my late teens, and have only had one crush, the aego crush. So, im a-spec for all attractions. When I first met him, I def was attracted to him *in some way*. As I still ID-ed as a girl back then, I thought it had to be a crush, as he was a boy. It happend somewhat 4 years ago so I dont know all the details. Basically, my mental health was quite bad back then. He was basically the only person who knew abt it, and helped me alot with it. Which caused me to develop an emotional connection with him. Thing is, idk if the connection was already the crush, or if the emotional connection simply caused the crush. I think it may have started with alterous feelings, as I wanted to be important to him from the start (as, at that time, he was my first genuine attraction). However, I think I only started to have "obvious" romantic aego fantasies after having known him for some months. Before that, my fantasies were quite ambigious? Not quite platonic, however not the exact vibe my romantic ones at some point had. Idk maybe I understand the term "infatuation" wrongly, but I feel like I didnt experience it. But hm, like i dont think it was too long after we met that he was like "omg youre so cool, you could be a potential person who I could live together with" and i was really happy. Idk if this was bcoz i was infatuated, or bcoz someone was finally kind to me and my situation at home sucked so that idea sounded good. I wasnt thinking abt our "future wedding" or anything, just glad to hear i was abt to be important to someone. I wasnt really like "OmG YES ID WANNE HAVE A RELTIONSHiP RN AND I CANT WAIT TO GET MARRIED AHH". But maybe none experiences the latter lol. Basically what im trying to say is that, lookining back, I may not have not experienced primary romantic attraction (so skipping the infatuation phase and instead the romantic attraction developing over time). So, could this fall under the demiromantic experience? If you're demiromantic, what is your experience? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isa1116 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 I'm not demi but what you said does sound like that. I'm not to sure though. But its your choice if you want to use that as a label. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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