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allo-aro relationships?

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Hi! I’m an aroace who definitely wants a QPR at some point, but I’m also only 15, so that might not be right away. I’m also demiqueerplatonic, which is really such an insignificant label in my life that I don’t feel the need to label myself, exactly, with it, but it can be helpful to explain my experience. To me it just means that I don’t want a QPR with anyone who I’m not already really close friends with. So I’m only ever really attracted to any of my friends, who are almost all alloromantic. I would like a QPR potentially with one friend in particular, but of course he’s allo. I’m just worried a relationship with him would be completely centered around me, and that wouldn’t be fair to him. And I definitely know that right now I’m not secure enough in myself in a relationship to have a relationship that is not strictly monogamous for everyone. I’m totally ok with other people’s polyamory, but at least now that’s not an option for me. 

I apologize for my rant, I guess what I’ve been meaning to ask is does anyone have experience with this? Is a monogamous, fair-to-everyone allo-aro QPR possible?

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Is it possible in general? Heck yeah. Is it possible in your specific situation with the person you have in mind? I don't know. That's something you two would have to talk about.

Having your own needs and boundaries doesn't mean a relationship is centered around you. It means you are aware of your feelings and respecting them, which is what everyone in a relationship should be considering. If needs don't align, then that needs respected, too. It doesn't mean one person gives up on their needs - it means that the people probably aren't compatible together in that specific type of relationship. If an alloro agreed to a monogamous, committed relationship with you, that would not mean they were inherently or automatically sacrificing anything. It would mean that the type of relationship being discussed is something that makes them happy as well.

My QPR from AUREA might be a helpful read to you. It's a lot of different people talking about their queerplatonic relationships, including a few examples of qprs involving alloro folk.

Hopefully there is someone with some personal experience here who sees your thread and shares! =)

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