I'd like some explanation and I'm horrible at self-analysis... so if it's alright I'd like someone else's insight on this. for context I'm ace and greyro
so there's this person who is my friend and my heart jumps when I see them. I don't get butterflies, but my heart jumps. Often afterwards I'll start to feel sick because I'm like "oh does it mean I LIKE them?" and it makes me very uncomfortable.
I also often look around for this person when I go out, which results in a very awkward amount of awkward eye contact.
I've tried to imagine myself in romantic contexts w this person to sorta "test" myself, and I'm generally uncomfortable. Sometimes I try to test my reaction to the idea of kissing them, and my reaction to the build-up is positive, but I can't imagine the actual act. If I see them in person though then the entire idea disgusts me.
I genuinely don't think I like this person romantically, but why does my heart jump when I see them? Why do I always look for them? Could this actually be romantic? I know I want to be their friend and in the past I've thought I had a squish on this person. I'm actually wondering if the heart jump is related to a previous OCD-obsession i had (basically, sexuality-ocd) so if anyone has experience with that please tell me. I also care a lot about this person's opinion of me, but I have social anxiety so... thats usually normal. Does anyone have any insight?
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I'd like some explanation and I'm horrible at self-analysis... so if it's alright I'd like someone else's insight on this. for context I'm ace and greyro
so there's this person who is my friend and my heart jumps when I see them. I don't get butterflies, but my heart jumps. Often afterwards I'll start to feel sick because I'm like "oh does it mean I LIKE them?" and it makes me very uncomfortable.
I also often look around for this person when I go out, which results in a very awkward amount of awkward eye contact.
I've tried to imagine myself in romantic contexts w this person to sorta "test" myself, and I'm generally uncomfortable. Sometimes I try to test my reaction to the idea of kissing them, and my reaction to the build-up is positive, but I can't imagine the actual act. If I see them in person though then the entire idea disgusts me.
I genuinely don't think I like this person romantically, but why does my heart jump when I see them? Why do I always look for them? Could this actually be romantic? I know I want to be their friend and in the past I've thought I had a squish on this person. I'm actually wondering if the heart jump is related to a previous OCD-obsession i had (basically, sexuality-ocd) so if anyone has experience with that please tell me. I also care a lot about this person's opinion of me, but I have social anxiety so... thats usually normal. Does anyone have any insight?
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