QPR

[Ivy]

I have a squish on someone, but she already has a girlfriend. Would it be intruding in their relationship if I asked her to be my QPP?

[hemogoblin]

Generally, no it's not encroaching to ask (but that doesn't mean that there aren't alloros in particular who would feel like it's crossing a line), but unfortunately, the only person who can really answer this isn't anybody on this forum. It's really going to depend on the specific people involved, as well as what the expectations of the qpp would be. Sorry! I know that doesn't make this any less scary to approach!

Does this person know what a qpp is? (Does her girlfriend?) Does their romantic relationship seem generally healthy or is there jealousy/possessiveness issues? You might start with a general conversation about qpps if not to feel things out better. 

Good luck. <3

[AromanticAardvark]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:12 AM, Ivy said:

I have a squish on someone, but she already has a girlfriend. Would it be intruding in their relationship if I asked her to be my QPP?

I wouldn't say it's intruding in their relationship, but it really depends on your personal definition of a QPP. For me, I wouldn't do it because my personal definition of a QPR is an exclusive relationship, but that might be totally different from you. If you do decide to ask, I would see how both she AND her girlfriend feel about it, as some alloros might think of it as cheating if you're doing it behind their backs. And definitely make sure you have a definition of QPRs in general handy, and YOUR definition of a QPR extra-extra defined and clear, and explain exactly what it would mean. And I would follow @hemogoblin's advice to feel it out first before even bringing it up in the first place