Disco Cow Posted December 19, 2022 Share Posted December 19, 2022 ((This is writing based on the song cupid by Jack Stauber and my real life experiences from being cupioromantic.)) Cupid When I was younger, my only real dream was to fall in love and start a family with my very own prince charming. I had no idea what else I would be happy with, after all, it was all my friends ever talked about. So in a way I lied to myself about love, over and over again. I pretended I knew what it felt like to throw myself at whoever I could, time after time. So when I realized I’d never really felt happy with a person, I pushed it down as far as I could. I convinced myself that I could learn to love you. Deep down I knew this would only hurt us both, but when you looked at me like that, what could I really do? I told you what you wanted to hear, in hopes that i’d feel the same way at your praise. I couldn’t say I was shocked when you told me you loved me, but what am I supposed to say? Should I just tell you I feel the same? I don’t. I want to, I swear. I want you to feel better, even if I don’t. I want you to be happy, you mean so much to me, after all, But I can’t tell you that. I know that you’d say “If I really mean so much to you, than you love me don’t you?” and in a way I do. But I can’t bring myself to lie again. I don’t want to hold your hand or whisper sweet nothings, because that’s all it is, Nothing. I want to feel loved, wanted, and adored. But I don’t want what they want. People my age who sob over the slightest hint of fading love. At first I believed they were just dramatic and I’d grow into such love, But I didn’t, and now what? Do I just say that it’s not my time yet? I don’t know, and that’s the thing. I can’t tell why I feel so hollow at your words, that I beg to hear. I don’t know why i’m so desperate to feel something I can’t. I don’t know if the term broken fits me. I don’t think it does, but I don’t know why everyone else says that. I can’t grow into love, or just find the right wonderful person to take all these worries away. I’m not even sure i’d like that. I don’t want you, or anyone else to kiss me, despite how much I want to be wanted. I’m sure it’s selfish to want love when I can’t give it back, but god knows I do. That’s not fair to either of us. I can’t tell you how much I want to love you, and a part of me does, just not in the way you need. I love you the way I love how the sun rises, or how the snow falls. I love you like I love the songs the birds sing on foggy spring mornings. I love you the way I love when music tears at me. I do love you, Just not the way you need. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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