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Finally figured out I’m aroace… but still lonely


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Soooo I figured out I’m aroace! Yayyy! My childhood (haha funny term to use for it lasting until I was 13) “crush” was probably just a squish and to be honest I don’t really care what it was because aro describes me perfectly! And being ace was always a definite so problem solved! Movie over! Plot line ended! Yay! 

Only… no. Nononono. That’s not how this is going, now is it?!? Because I still feel very very lonely! I mean, sometimes I can feel this beautifully overwhelming platonic love for my friends, and it just makes me so happy, but then I get sad again. Sometimes I even think I want a romantic relationship with my old maybe-squish, or maybe just kiss him once, just to know if I’m really aro or if I really want a romantic relationship or whatever, but I know I’m romance repulsed and I would feel disgusted if I was actually in that situation. Sooo… sequel time? Or maybe an epilogue. An epilogue would be nice. 

So I guess what I’m getting to is how do you guys not feel lonely? How do you feel that happy, fulfilling feeling all the time?

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I don't think everyone feels happy and fullfiled all the time, not even allo people with their romantic partners!

Some days are better than others and I also feel lonely a lot of the time. I've found that what works for me best is actually chasing that feeling of platonic love or of wholeness. And that for me means reaching out and making extra time for my friends or spending some time with my hobbies and interests (so watching series, drawing, devoting time to a special interest, stuff like that). Also, learning to spend time with myself and being kind to myself (something I'm still working on) has helped a lot.

It's a journey! And as much as I want it to be a straight line, going from plotline to plotline... life is much much messier than that. And it's part of what makes it worth living!

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