What the deal with the masculinity crisis?

[Ikarus]

 

Summary of this videos points 

 

Masculinity has changed throughout time, in Greek times it meant getting a wife through sex, to Germanic tribesman it was about protecting the woman and family, medieval europeans added chivalry and piety to protecting the woman, in the 19th century it became a conquest of breadwinning, providing for the wife and family through hard work and business. 

 

Notice any pattern? 

 

A man may feel that he is not living up to a definition of masculinity whether its by not being the strongest (unable to achieve the unrealistic goal of being GigaChad), by not being able to provide, by feeling emotions that are repressed. This hypothetical man copes with this crisis by turning to the external world and rejecting their internal struggles, a man looks for his symbolic lack to be filled by an idealized woman. 

Big problem though, woman are now members of the work force and are becoming societally equal to men. Basically woman's emancipation has taken away the cope machine from men on what gets to make them feel like the dude/CHAD. Men have to find a materialistic or internal way to fill this lack to feel like a man, that is why not all men feel this crisis but some feel the need to have a woman fill this symbolic lack. 

Now we see men acting reactionary against woman as their scapegoat (Andrew Tate cough cough) while peddling their own idealized version of what a woman should be to fill their symbolic lack. The more men struggle to fill this symbolic lack the more woman will begin to regress into the trad wife role. 

 

 

My thoughts

Well I agree with YUGO in thinking masculinity needs to be re-evaluated, first men need to see that their definition of masculinity is one they get to choose for themselves and develop "A masculinity so ‘manly’ that it doesn’t give a damn how anyone chooses to express it.” YUGOPNIK 

There are some men who don’t struggle like this I feel the need to emphasize that again, but I think a lot of men are going on autopilot by using a self destructive societally prescribed view of masculinity. Although some men may nevertheless feel that this is the way they choose to express their masculinity. I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong when both partners genuinely want the trad life. I do think though that people change in a lifetime change could disrupt this lifestyle.

 

 

Socioeconomics

Another reason why this masculinity crisis is reaching such a peak these days is the difficulty of achieving the traditional family picket fence lifestyle of the baby boomers. Even if a woman wants to be a trad wife they may not be able to in todays modern economic turmoil especially in America where men and woman both have to work to survive. 

Materialistic conditions renders the trad wife / breadwinner lifestyle more and more obsolete with time. Also one of the big problems with mens coping mechanism is that many men feel that it is the only way to be masculine. Being unable to find a trad wife due to economic conditions affects the conventional breadwinner role dramatically. 

 

MGTOW

I looked into the MGTOW (Men going their own way) community, I related with them on the basis that they don’t need to date woman, or get married. I thought cool a group of bros that are going there own way in society, finally some people who won’t talk about all of their bodies as bragging rights, obsess over trying to get a girlfriend, and talk about woman all the time in general. I wonder if they talk about history, or business, or life purpose, self improvement, or creative projects? 

MGTOW talked a little bit about their lifestyle, addressing common questions people would have towards them, sometimes they talked to other about philosophy, society, finding meaning. The more I stayed the more I realized, A lot of it, overwhelmingly was about woman... I found that rather ironic.

Even with the MGTOW community, they are essentially trying to redefine masculinity but the majority of their members seem focused on the coping mechanism of woman. Is it even possible for men to redefine their masculinity beyond woman? 

 

Feminine socializing

It seems like a femininity crisis isn’t as rampant as the masculinity one, but I still think there are problems with the way woman are socialized to become woman. Woman are socialized to be polite, obedient, meek, and gentle pursuing the attention and affections of men as top priority. 

Since when did confidence, and determination become the traits of one gender. Why can’t a woman ask a man out? She is supposed to wait for the mans attention instead of pursuing her interests or feelings at that moment. This is one of those situations where you see a woman doing the opposite of determining an action or pursuit for herself but rather waiting for attention to come her way. I think its really really weird...

I also think woman need to re-evaluate their symbolic lack which is over attachment to the needs of another man or partner. There is also a  suppression of their own interests from being societally conditioned not to have the confidence or determination to pursue goals outside getting a man. 

 

Here are some brutal questions more people need to consider.

What does masculine mean without the feminine? 

What does the feminine mean without the masculine? 

 

Edited October 24, 2022 by Ikarus