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Attraction or repulsion?? Physical symptoms?? Help??


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Hi !! I'm new to this site so bear with me but I could really use some aromatic advice.

so a few months ago a friend of mine confessed to having feelings for me and at the time it was really anxiety inducing and I said im not ready for a relationship but maybe at a later time. 

a couple days ago I randomly remembered this and realized that I could technically date them now if I wanted to. it made my stomach turn and for the past couple days I've had really bad anxiety/panic over this friend. seeing this friends name, thinking of them, sometimes talking to them or seeing them pop up in my messages, it makes me really anxious and I feel hot/burning, and super nauseous. and im shaky and stuff, just really bad unpleasant anxiety to the point where its hard to eat and I just want to avoid this friend at all costs.

I explained it to another friend of mine who said it sounds more like repulsion than attraction to this friend, and that I might be aromantic. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic and I've always loved romance and the idea of it but whenever someone (usually friends) admits to having a crush on me it makes me super uncomfortable. and the idea that I might have a crush on this friend scares me to death. Its been a few days I've been stuck in this feeling and its miserable. I dont want to stop talking to this friend since we're pretty close but it feels a little unbearable. 

Is this what attraction is supposed to feel like ?? or is this severe romance repulsion??? Has any one else felt like this??? Please help ;;

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  • 2 months later...

oh my god your situation is almost the same as mine, I'm also a hopeless romantic and I'm sorry that you're going through this difficult situation, I don't necessarily think that's what attraction feels like, it does sound more like repulsion to me, but it's really hard to figure out what to do, because at least in my case, despite that (or because) I do have feelings for this friend, repulsion is somewhat unavoidable and I've just had to figure out what actions/words make me more repulsed and how to avoid them, ofc communication is very important but it can be hard to talk about it with people that don't exactly understand what you feel. 

so my point is that figuring out what exactly makes you feel repulsed even if it's and uncomfortable experience 

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As an aro who doesn’t feel romantic attraction, I can’t really help you there, but when it comes down to it do you want a platonic relationship with this friend, which can really be just as important? Or do you want a romantic one? At least that’s what helped me. 

Edited by EternallyTDB
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I'm gonna preface this with I'm aro but I still feel a little bit of romantic attraction sometimes and I don't think I really know what repulsion feels like in that sense but romantic attraction doesn't really feel like that, I don't think. Sure I feel anxious sometimes when I know that someone likes me but if you liked them back I'm pretty sure you would feel more of an excited feeling. Like, I still feel anxiety over those things but it's like a "good anxiety" if that makes sense.

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