Dating process as an aro

[Guest Guest]

I've recently come to identify myself as aro and it has not only helped me understand myself better but it has made me much more comfortable with how I view relationships and life in general. With that said, I am struggling with the dating process and was wondering if anyone can help/share their experiences, as this is all new to me.

I'm currently in the process of dating but once I realized I was aro, it dawned on me that I don't know when or how the relationship will 'advance' so to say. I was always taught that I would get a 'feeling' that I just 'knew' the person I was dating was the right person for me and it will naturally progress from there. But after realizing this 'gut feeling' that people have been telling me is very likely romantic feelings, I don't know how I'll know I'm ready. The dating process itself is already pretty uncomfortable for me but add uncertainty on top of that, my anxiety is going haywire. I do want to emphasize that I am choosing to date myself because I am seeking out a life partner.

So for other aro's out there with partners and/or in the dating process, how do/did you know to advance in your relationship? What was the 'sign'?

[Apex]

Any relationship still needs communication. It's fine to communicate your confusion to your partner about "advancing" your relationship- what would that advancement look like to either of you? Is it even something you both want? You don't have to "check all the boxes" so to speak, nor do you have to "advance" things in a specific order.

But also, if you're currently dating someone, you need to tell them you're aro (assuming that they're allo.) For the most part, people in romantic relationships want reciprocation. If you don't actually have any feelings for your partner, that will end up hurting them in the long run.